Pregnancy, for me, was the absolute worst. I hear some women singing its praises, but I can't relate. I had every possible symptom in the book (and then some) and probably some no one's ever heard of. It was a pretty awful time —specifically towards the end — which is why I need to shout from the rooftops all the things every pregnant woman in her third trimester wants her partner to know. Not that we plan on having another baby, but you know, just in case.
I've birthed two humans, but have been pregnant a total of four times. While the first trimester was full of new experiences like the taste of metal in my mouth and the all-day vomit, the second trimester leveled things out, but only slightly. Sure, I was no longer sick all day, my appetite surged, and I had a visible belly bump to show off, but towards the end of say, month six, I started feeling uncomfortable in different ways.
The third trimester during both full-term pregnancies proved to be challenging, both mentally and physically. Having been placed on bed rest due to high blood pressure and swollen limbs (and a significant drop in amniotic fluid with my youngest), my high-risk pregnancies took advantage of me and I still don't think my partner understands all I endured (hint: a hell of a lot). On that note, here are some things I so wish he'd have understood about what hell it is to carry a person inside your body.
I'm *Always* Going To Be Hot
It doesn't matter if it's the height of winter, when going through the third trimester, I'm going to have three fans pointed directly at me at all times. It could be from the extra weight, the change in hormones, or literally that there's another person I'm toting around, but regardless, I'm hot. If you don't like it, layer up or sleep elsewhere.
I Can't Get Comfortable; So Deal With It
Comfort is a luxury I didn't have during any part of pregnancy. However, the finding comfort in the third trimester was a joke. Even after purchasing a full-length body pillow, sticking another between my legs, having all the fans, emptying my bladder, and so forth, there was no way around it: I felt like I'd never be comfortable again. At least, not standing, walking, eating breathing, or doing basically anything while pregnant.
I'm Hungry All The Time
I didn't want anything to do with food those first few months because I was hovering over a toilet at the mere stench of it. The second trimester gradually brought my appetite back, but it wasn't until those last months began that I wanted to eat everything all the time.
Yes, I Will Go To The Bathroom Every Five Minutes, Thank You Very Much
It doesn't matter if I've just gone, I'll have to go again. Something about a tiny body pushing up on my bladder that gives no relief. If it sounds miserable peeing every five minutes (like when trying to get some sleep), try living it.
Everything Matters Too Much Right Now
Pregnancy hormones are a real b*tch. I still think of all the arguments I started because they were SO important at the time (but they really weren't). If I'm raging, let me rage. If I'm crying, hold me until I'm finished. If I'm laughing, it'll probably pass quickly. I know it's confusing, but have some compassion. This journey will soon be over and things can go back to normal (except not really because — hello! — baby!).
I Can't Wait To Get This Baby Out Of Me
In the final days and weeks of a pregnancy, it feels like an eternity until I'll have my body to myself again. Those once-exciting kicks become a real pain, cutting into my ribs and shortening my breath, and I can't see my feet so I have no idea if they're even there anymore. I can't say when the definitive cutoff is between pregnancy glow and "get this baby out of me now," but it comes fast and furious and there's no turning back until delivery, so bear with me. And sorry for all the things I say, or do, while going through it, OK?
Despite It All, I'll Miss Being Pregnant
The reality is, no matter how miserable I felt, the moment the baby came out, I missed being pregnant. Sounds weird, right? Pregnancy was the only time I had my babies all to myself. Once they emerged, I had to share them with the world and quite honestly, it was a sobering, lonely kind of feeling.
Pregnancy is complicated. Throughout those nine months, there's a wide range of emotions and physical experiences every person goes through. It's different for every woman, but one thing's for sure: when our partners know how to sympathize, it makes everything just a little more bearable.