My daughter — my firstborn — was conceived at a time in my life when I wasn't fully prepared to be a mother, and was such a blessing in disguise. Through the dark clouds of my postpartum depression (PPD), she absolutely became the light that chased them away. After she was born, I endured multiple pregnancy losses before eventually giving birth to her little brother (my rainbow baby). So, through it all, there are more than a few things I want my sunshine baby to remember. Honestly, she deserves to hear them as often as possible.
I've only recently learned the difference between a rainbow baby and a sunshine baby. A rainbow baby is delivered after miscarriage or loss, while a sunshine baby is delivered before loss. Now that I know, I've been looking at my kids, and their roles in my life, a little differently. Of course their lives had meaning before, but with these definitions it's almost as if their birth placement serves two different purposes. Considering everything I've gone though from, 2006 to now, I believe it.
A fourth grader and protective older sister (when they're not arguing), my daughter is my polar opposite in so many ways. She's loud when I'm quiet, outgoing when I'm folded inside of myself, and carefree while I worry the days away. Through the pockets of our differences, though, there are some similarities, too. She's kind and compassionate and always worried no one will see all she is, just like me. She's creative and passionate about leaving her mark on the world, and of all the days I spend doting over my rainbow baby, I've realized I haven't been doing the same for her. With that, here are some things I want my sunshine baby to remember. After all, without her there'd be no light.