Getting married a month after high school graduation wasn't my best decision to date. While a lot of high school sweethearts marry and enjoy long, fulfilling relationships, it simply wasn't the case for me. When I accepted my boyfriend's proposal, I never anticipated a future without him. Starry-eyed and hopeful, I was sure we'd make it. As we fizzled though, there were things I'm glad I didn't know about divorce because, eventually, they'd become my new normal and would take major adjustments in order for me to regain any sort of hope to love again.
After just a few months of marriage, there were clues we wouldn't last as my (then) husband and I began to drift apart. At the time, it felt like the end of the world but when I think back now, I see two young kids who cared for one another but shouldn't have committed to such a promise. We had a lot of disagreements and suffered financial woes before getting kicked out of our rental and separating for some time. This, just about six months into our "ever after" and we couldn't have a mature conversation about our relationship (because we weren't yet mature). After a few months of living apart, we figured out how to talk through some of our issues and even started dating again. Eventually, we moved back in together with a "fresh start" in mind, even though I always felt, deep down, we could never really mend all that had been damaged.
Four years in, it still wasn't working. We'd grown up a bit but we'd also grown apart. There's no blame to be cast as we both made mistakes and, in the aftermath, both tried to salvage the remnants of what had been broken. When it came down to it, we just weren't right together. We both needed time to grow into ourselves and it couldn't happen while together. So, we did what we felt best — get divorced. I didn't know some of the after-effects at the time because, honestly, I was naive, but now that I'm older and re-married, I'm glad I wasn't fully aware of all I'd have to deal with. It wouldn't have made it any easier to go through and might've kept me in a situation I wasn't happy in that much longer. In this case, I'm thankful for that naivety because it might've helped me move on with my life, and he with his.