7 Things That Are Definitely Not Cheating, So You Can Stop Worrying
Everyone knows getting physical with another person is cheating (unless you' have an open-relationship, in which case it's all good.) But other areas can be a little confusing. There are grey areas in how you interact with other people outside of your significant other, which is why you might feel a pang of guilt when your ex Facebook messages you. Is that OK? Should you tell your partner? Well there are things that are definitely not cheating. So you can relax about your tendency to blush and daydream after you see the sexy delivery guy in your office supply room.
Communication is essential in any good relationship, and if you and your significant other are talking about what boundaries matter to you, then you'll know if you are moving to a dangerous grey area. I want my husband to tell me if an ex contacts him in any way – I don't mind if she does, I just want to know about it. It makes me feel secure. And my husband respects that, and follows suit. Feeling secure in a relationship allows you to trust, and trust allows you to not freak out about small stuff that really doesn't matter, like light flirting, or things that have no reflection on the strength of your relationship, like masturbating. So if you feel safe with your partner and the communication is good, enjoy your office husband without guilt. Check out the things that aren't considered cheating so you can pay attention to things that are a no-no.
1. Flirting (Within Reason)
Flirting is harmless fun as long as proper boundaries are observed. Trouble can start when both partners don't agree on what those boundaries are, so good communication is important here.
2. Having An 'Office Spouse'
Days at work can be long and tedious; the comfort of an office spouse is a nice change of pace. Your office spouse may get your jokes, offer you a cup of coffee, and dislike the same people as you – they may not put a hand on your thigh or talk smack about your real life significant other.
3. Having A Friend Of The Opposite Sex
Or if you identify as LGBTQ, having a friend of the same sex. Either way, this isn't cheating. It can, however, be a dangerous area if your friend is meeting emotional needs that your significant other is not, or if your relationship is in a rough patch and you turn to this friend for comfort.
4. Having A Crush
There are innocent crushes, and not-innocent crushes. The trick is to be brutally honest with yourself about which one you have going on. Is having a crush cheating? Only you really know. If you are falling for another person, spending time with them in secret, or lying to your significant other about spending time with them, then you need to take a long hard look at your situation.
5. Sexual Fantasies
There are different reasons people fantasize about other sexual partners, and as long as you're not fantasizing because you are miserable with your actual sex life, you're good to go. Sexual fantasies are healthy and a normal part of a longer-term relationship.
Masturbating and sex are totally different acts, often done for different reasons (besides the obvious orgasm.) Masturbating is a great stress reliever and doesn't indicate that you are losing desire for your SO – in fact, it can be a great bonus to your sex drive.
7. Staying Friend With An Ex-Lover
Being friends with your ex can be problematic if you still have unresolved feelings hidden away, but it can be totally innocent, too. If you and your ex parted ways and you are totally over that person romantically, but still find them interesting and fun to be around, a casual friendship is fine.