When I was younger, I fully believed that there was no black or white areas when it came to cheating. I didn't think the "once a cheater, always a cheater" quote was true, and I felt like some things could be perceived differently by two other people. But now that I'm older (and have been cheated on more than once), I believe that there are some acts that are definitely considered cheating in a relationship.
Maybe it's because I've been burned, but I'm now of the mindset that there is no excuse for cheating. People can say they are unhappy, that their partner drove them to it, or that they had no control over themselves, but I won't buy it. It's this simple to me — if you want out of a relationship, then just leave. Don't pretend to be happy while cheating. Don't argue that if your partner had done this or that, you wouldn't have strayed. There's literally no excuse for it. And when you add in all of the "gray" areas of cheating, it p*sses me off even more. Just because you're not having full-on sex with someone else doesn't mean you aren't cheating.
And, in the same vein, there are some things that aren't considered cheating. We're allowed to have attractive friends of the same sex we're attracted to. It's not cheating to go out to a bar without your SO and get drunk on a Friday night. But exchanging numbers with a person at that bar and pretending like you're single? That most definitely is cheating, along with these 11 things. If you find your partner doing these things or you yourself are caught in a few of the acts, it's time to reevaluate your relationship and get over your cheating self already.
1. Sending Or Receiving Sexy Pictures
I've heard the argument, "But at least I'm not actually sleeping with them!" before and it's weak. Stop trying to make what you're doing OK. If you're in a committed relationship, then no one but your SO should see a picture of you wearing nothing but a thong.
2. Sending Or Receiving Erotic Texts
This goes along with sexy pictures. I don't think it's innocent in the slightest and it's such a huge betrayal to your partner. If your SO won't engage in your dirty talk, then you need to have a conversation with them about what it means to you and how it makes you feel.
3. Betraying Your Partner To Another Person
You've overheard your partner b*tching about you to a person they're attracted to and you're wondering if it's cheating. In my opinion, yes. It's such a betrayal to you and to your relationship, especially if the person they're complaining to is attracted to your partner as well. If I knew some chick had a crush on my boyfriend and he was telling her all about how horrible I was, I'd be totally devastated.
4. Lying About Who You Are With
"She's just a friend."
"He's like my brother."
Then why do you need to lie about it? I have a guy best friend and I never have to hide his texts, our conversations, or our time together from my boyfriend. If you're having to keep someone a secret from your partner, you're probably cheating.
5. Using Dating Apps To Message People
I once heard someone justify their account on OKCupid, even though they were married, saying, "It's just fun to message people. I just like the innocent flirting." Except it's not so innocent. Dating apps are there for people to find someone to be with. When you go on there looking for someone to engage in flirting with you, you're just asking for trouble and you're definitely a cheater.
6. Kissing Someone You're Attracted To
And you know I don't mean a kiss on the cheek when you're saying bye to a best friend. A kiss, with tongue or without, that sparks something more is definitely cheating. Kissing is cheating. Done.
7. Sexual Touching, Even If It Doesn't Lead To Full-On Sex
Using your hands on each other, oral sex, or kissing parts of someone else's body? All cheating. Yes, even if it doesn't lead to full-on sex.
8. You Hide Your Relationship From Someone You're Attracted To
A handsome stranger asked you if you were single on an airplane and you lied and said yes. Cheating. Even if nothing happens, pretending that your relationship doesn't exist so you can flirt and have fun with someone you're attracted to is not OK.
9. Having A Deep Emotional Connection To Someone Instead Of Your Partner
You've noticed that your partner is spending a lot of time on their phone talking to someone else. Your partner says, "We're just friends," but you notice they're chatting every single day, for hours at a time, and that they have a deep, emotional connection. You don't have to give this too much thought. Your partner is cheating on you. Even if there's no physical contact, that deep-rooted emotional connection between them and someone they're attracted to is no good.
10. Speaking About The Future You Would Have With Someone If You Left Your Partner
Again, this is a total betrayal to your partner. If you frequently fantasize about leaving your SO and you talk to your crush about what would happen if you did, you probably need to go ahead and end your relationship.