Being cheated on is one of the most heartbreaking things someone will ever experience. You've put all your trust into one person and they've basically told you they don't respect you. It's a terrible feeling, especially when you learn other people knew about it and never said a word. But is there a line to cross? Are there things to do if a friend is being cheated on or is it out of your jurisdiction?
I'm firmly in the camp that, yes, there are things you need to do, assuming that you found out a friend was being cheated on, you've made sure that is really happening. A random Facebook post on your best friend's SO's wall from another person doesn't mean they're cheating. You need your facts straight before you do or say anything. But as a person who was cheated on, I strongly believe that once you know, you have to do something with the information. You can't just let this go or pretend like it never happened. Not only will it ruin the relationship you have with your friend's partner, but it can also damage your friendship with your bestie. You may start judging them for sticking around with a cheater. You may think they're a doormat to their SO or that they're settling for less. Assumptions like that will ruin the two of you and it's not worth it, especially over a cheater. If you know a friend has been cheated on, these seven things can help you reach a resolution and get the burden off of your shoulders.
1. Don't Lash Out At Their SO
It may be challenging to keep your cool around your friend's partner now, but lashing out in a fit of anger and rage won't help the situation any.
2. Cool Down Before Doing Anything
This is a super sensitive situation and your friend will have their own emotions to deal with. Your feelings don't need to make headlines.
3. Talk To Your Friend About Their Relationship
Ask your friend about their relationship; what they feel like is going well and if they think there's room for improvement. When you talk to your friend, you'll be able to gauge how they feel about their partner and if being cheated on would come as a total shock. They may already have their suspicions, but have been wary to speak about them. You might even find out that what you saw wasn't cheating and the two have a mutual agreement.
4. Decide How Close You And Your Friend Are
Are the two of you besties or do you only see each other a few times a year? This is important, because if you're not incredibly close with your friend, you might be inserting yourself where you don't belong.
5. Don't Share With Other Friends
Don't run off and tell all of your other mutual friends or other people in the situation. As a person who's been cheated on, it is extremely humiliating to find out that literally everyone knew except for you.
6. Tell Your Friend
Yep, you have to tell your friend. Sit them down, tell them what you saw, and make no judgments or opinions about it. Let your friend handle it from there and let them react however they want. I don't think this is a secret you can keep from your friend, regardless of how much it will hurt them.
7. Support Your Friend No Matter What
Once your friend knows, you're done. That's all you have to offer in this situation. It is no longer your business and you have no right to try and give advice, offer solutions, or judge your friend for their decisions. If they stay with their partner, you need to be supportive. If they leave their partner, you need to be supportive.