When I divorced I was barely 22 with no plan, future, and few regrets. My husband and I had married immediately after I graduated high school, despite protests from friends and family, and though we thought we were old enough to understand the commitment we were making, we weren't ready for a responsibility like marriage. If you can relate, there's probably some things you'll want to say to your ex-husband, but won't, because the wounds are either too fresh, or they've long since healed. Why bring up the past anyway, right?
When the decision came for my husband I to part ways, it seemed sudden. To everyone else, we worked through so much in four short years (infidelity, separation, re-commitment), so how could we just give up? The truth is, we didn't. It was a long time coming, throughout a marriage that never should've happened. While I'm grateful for what the experience taught me, I often reflect on those days and wonder if things could've been different had we waited a few years and allowed ourselves to grow up before promising the rest of our lives together.
The last time I saw my ex, he drifted into my grandmother's funeral viewing unexpectedly. His presence comforted me in ways I've still not been able to verbalize. Having been part of my life when I lived with my grandmother, it was a nice reminder of how far we've come, however separate our lives are now. Since then, I've been thinking of things I wanted to say that evening, but never could, or would, because it doesn't really matter anymore. None of it is malicious or vindictive because, honestly, my ex-husband is a great guy. In the end, we just wren't meant to be.
I've been with my current husband 13 years, and we have two amazing children together. Still, those things I didn't have at 22 — a plan, future, and regret — are things I definitely have now. If you have an ex, you might want to say some of the following things, because refrain from doing so because your life is happening now. We can't erase our pasts, and what I've come to realize (and be grateful for) is that I don't want to.