For about six weeks, my husband's been living and working in another state. He accepted a lateral move position within his company, 14 hours away. As I prepare myself and our kids for this huge out-of-state move, we're struggling with the impact his absence has left in our current home. Along with being apart, we're faced with relationship complications we never experienced, or even anticipated, in our 10 years of marriage. There are a few ways my husband accidentally makes me feel insecure, even though I know it's not his intention. Still, when we're living states away these actions have that much more of an impact. After all, he's not here to reassure me we're, or I'm, OK.
Throughout our early days of flirtatious dating, I presented myself as a mildly confident woman. It wasn't a total lie, honestly, because I was younger, a little more carefree, and on a journey of self-discovery that allowed me to do whatever I needed to achieve personal joy. If things didn't work out between us, at the time, I knew it would be his loss and not mine. Once things became serious, and we settled down in marriage with children, I struggled with a growing list of insecurities that hadn't surfaced in those early days. Be it from lingering postpartum depression (PPD), self-esteem issues, or things my husband did through the process of learning to parent together, there are some things he did, and continues to do now, that trigger those same insecurities.
I know my husband would never intentionally do or say anything that hurts me directly. That's not the kind of guy he is. Still, in being away from us (and even the brief weekend he came back for Mother's Day), these accidental mishaps drudge up old feelings I'd love to never have again. Here are some things he may not realize he's doing that make me feel so insecure.