My first pregnancy was, um, "something." I'd say it was a mix of surprise and confusion, trepidation and excitement. Aside from my partner, my mother was the first to know I was expecting, too. I was hoping she would help me navigate these juxtaposing emotions and share in my undeniable joy. But when I called to tell her the news she abruptly ended the call, claiming she needed to go back to work. Needless to say, my first pregnancy announcement didn't go as planned. That's just one of the ways my mom ruined my pregnancy for me. And while I can't say she ruined it completely, there were more than a few questionable stories, comments, and decisions she made that left me feeling like I was missing out; like my first experience growing a human being inside my body was, somehow, less than.
I'm mostly being facetious, because of course my mom didn't ruin my pregnancy in the horrific ways you might imagine, or in a way that turned me off of pregnancy forever. I mean, I have two children. So whatever she did, clearly it didn't deter me from getting knocked up a second time. So no, she didn't yell and scream at me for nine months, or deny me the right to choose the way I wanted to parent. She didn't ask who the father was or make me feel like my baby didn't matter.
If I'm being honest, I have to admit that the things she did or said ruined what I thought pregnancy was going to be. She became my reality check. And while I can appreciate why she wanted to essentially protect me, I would have loved it if I could have figured things out on my own. This was my experience, good, bad, or ugly, and I needed her to support me, instead of shield me. So with that in mind, here's the ways my mom "ruined" my pregnancy. Take it from me, soon-to-be moms: it's OK to tell your own mother to, you know, back off.