It’s every parent’s worst, sex-related nightmare — getting caught in the act by your child. In a matter of seconds, your child can take a moment from 50 Shades of Grey to 50 shades of red. Now, when you’re the mom of older kids, you usually have an idea of when they’ll be in bed and can plan your sexy romps then. But for parents of newborns, babies become roommates. Some even become bedmates, and co-sleeping can be an obstacle for lovemaking. But don’t let your little one slow down libido. Sex with a sleeping baby in the room may sound totally unromantic (and a tad creepy), but sometimes you just have to strike when the moment’s right.
Keep in mind that your baby has no idea what’s going on, especially if they’re six months or younger. You don’t have to worry that your child is going to end up in therapy one day with a vague memory of their parents getting it on while they were asleep two feet away. Of course, if the idea of having sex with a sleeping baby in the room weirds you out, by all means take it to the kitchen counter or couch with a monitor by your side. But if you’re feeling frisky and want to get it on between the sheets, follow these seven tips for doing the deed while your baby dozes off to dreamland.
1. Make Sure Baby Is Safe
This is the ultimate tip to not only having sex with a baby in your room, but enjoying it as well. Put them in a bassinet, swing, crib — anywhere they will be protected. You don’t want to worry about them rolling off the bed while you’re enjoying your partner or them being uncomfortable in a makeshift space.
2. Turn On A Sound Machine
Pediatrician and child developmentalist Harvey Karp’s best-selling book, The Happiest Baby on the Block has been heralded as a lifesaver for parents who can’t get their babies to sleep and one of his tips? White noise. Not only will the noise soothe your baby and keep them sleeping, but it will also drown out any lovemaking sounds from you and your partner.
3. Make Sure Baby Is Sleeping
Even though your baby has no idea what you two are doing on that side of the bed, it can be incredibly distracting to try and get it on with a little one cooing, kicking their feet, and staring at you. For everyone’s comfort, get baby to sleep before getting it on.
4. Go For Oral
If baby’s snuggling sweetly in your bed, you may not be ready to make a lot of movement or climb on top of your partner. Instead, enjoy some relatively quiet oral sex. With both pleasing and receiving, you can find one comfortable spot on the bed that won’t disturb your babe’s slumber or your orgasm.
5. Schedule It
It may not sound too romantic, but if there’s going to be a baby passed out in your room often, scheduling sex during their snoozing time isn’t a bad idea. You’ll be able to enjoy your romp without panicking that the baby could wake up at any moment.
6. Get Creative
Your baby’s passed out on your bed and you’re terrified to move them, but doing the deed laying next to them just isn’t your style. I get it. Time to get creative and hit the floor with your partner or make some space on your dresser. You’ll be able to roll around with abandon and not worry that your movements will wake the babe.