As a new mom I didn't feel at all confident in my ability to breastfeed. It didn't matter how many books I read or classes I took, it wasn't something that felt natural in any capacity. Even at the hospital, when I had a significant amount of help and resources, I felt lost. So when I realized, to my exhausted dismay, that there are a slew of things bound to happen the first time you breastfeed outside the hospital, I started to significantly doubt my ability to feed my body with my own body. If only I had known then what I know now.
Admittedly, I struggled quite a bit with both the idea of breastfeeding and the act itself. Nursing wasn't something I ever envisioned myself doing... until I did it. So the entire act was incredibly foreign, and when I found myself sitting on the couch trying to nurse my baby more often than not I was terrified. It was a struggle to get my baby girl to latch in the hospital, and that struggle continued when we were outside of the hospital, too.
We made it through those initial breastfeeding hurdles, though, and slowly but surely I gained confidence as a breastfeeding mom. And later on I learned that my self-doubt was a pretty typical feeling, so it's not like there was something fundamentally wrong with me and my ability to parent. So if, like me, you're feeling lost in a sea of breast pumps and feeding sessions, know that you're not alone and chances are very high that things will get better. And until then, just embrace the suck (literally) and surround yourself with support as you make your way through the following postpartum breastfeeding moments: