You did it! You found a great partner and are in an incredible relationship. You even deleted your “I’m My Own Girlfriend” Pinterest board. Everything should be awesome. Unfortunately, after many months of bliss, the fireworks have fizzled and your relationship is feeling a little lackluster. Whether it’s because you’ve slipped into a routine or life just got in the way, you’re ready to make your relationship feel like it did in the beginning.
In a new relationship, the spark can fade fast. One day you’re enjoying each other’s company and soaking up every second together, then all of a sudden you’re doing laundry on a Friday night and wondering when was the last time you two got it on. What happened? Research shows that familiarity is to blame for a loss of passion and excitement in relationships. You know that being honest and open are important to a relationship, but so is putting in effort to keep it exciting and fresh. If you’re looking to bring back the spark, here are eight ways to make your relationship feel like it did in the beginning.
1. Plan A Real Date
Nobody loves a night of Chinese food and Netflix more than me, but when you’re in a relationship, too much of that can be a bad thing. Remember the date nights in the beginning of your relationship? Holding hands as you walk down the street, sharing bites of food, and staring into each other’s eyes. Those acts may seem small, but they quickly get lost in the routine of a relationship. Time to take it back to the beginning and plan a romantic date night, stat.
2. Send A Good Morning Text
Was there anything more exciting than spending an incredible night with your new boo and then receiving a text from them first thing in the morning? Keep that sweet gesture going. Even if you’re living together, everyone loves a reminder that their favorite person is thinking of them.
3. Have A Make Out Sesh
In the beginning of your relationship, you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, and that shouldn’t change. According a 2013 study from the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, couples who kiss more often are more satisfied with their relationship— even if it doesn’t lead to sex. So go ahead and have a good old make out session on the couch. It’s for your benefit.
4. Go To Bed Together
And not necessarily in a sexual way. A 2013 study found that couples who go to bed at different times are more likely to experience conflict than those that go to bed together. So skip your late-night Netflix binge and make an effort to go to bed together. Sometimes a snuggles session mixed with some light conversation can be an incredibly intimate moment.
5. Have A Day Long Sex-A-Thon
A day’s worth of mind-blowing orgams is sure to bring the spark back (and provide a few other benefits). Try out some new positions, take your time, and only get out of bed if you need water.
6. Spend Some Time Apart
Whether you’re living together or simply spending all your time with each other, having some time apart is extremely healthy for your relationship. I love that after five months of dating, I’m still ridiculously excited to see my boyfriend when he comes over. I attribute a lot of that to our time apart. Since we’re not constantly together, we are able to focus on quality time when we’re together. Not to mention it give you both a chance to hang with your friends.
You may think flirting is only for the single ladies, but it’s not. Sex and relationship educator Laura Berman wrote for Everyday Health thatflirting keeps the spark alive in a relationshipand serves as a way to remind your SO why you’re so into them. Send them a sexy text message, or tell them they’re cute over coffee. These little things will remind you of the early stages of your relationship, and also show you how far you’ve come.