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8 Ways Trump Is Basically A Giant Toddler, According To His Staff

by Cameron Norsworthy

If acting fussy, destructive, and always hungry for an extra scoop of ice cream sounds all too familiar, you've either raised a toddler or read the series of tweets explaining all the ways Trump behaves like a toddler, according to those who work with him. Curated by Tufts University international politics professor Daniel Drezner, the selection of quotes from various, unnamed politicians and White House aides has been forever preserved in a lengthy Twitter thread on his account.

Romper has reached out to the Trump administration for comment on the quoted statements, but has not heard back at this time.

Drezner's collected so many gems since April of this year, and given the nature of Trump's solar eclipse behavior (he stared right at it without protective glasses despite all the warnings, if you didn't know), there's no indication that any of these childlike tendencies will stop anytime soon.

Seventy one tweets later, Drezner's sourced reporting paints a hilarious picture of what it must be like to work with Trump. Concentration is apparently very hard to come by, moods flip at the drop of a hat, and pettiness reportedly reigns supreme in the White House.

Learning more about how the president operates might make you more sympathetic to the people tasked with handling him. Key word: might. But, at the very least, you'll have a good laugh.

1

To Stop Trump's Misbehaving, You Have To Keep Him Busy

One of Trump's advisers shared that, in order to prevent him from tweeting, he has to be kept busy. You know, like when your kid won't stop rubbing their finger paint all over the floor so you've got to prop them in your lap and read a story together as a distraction.

2

Trump Can't Focus On A Task Without Built-In Play Time

Apparently, Trump's workplace functions like a Montessori school, where he's given times of structure and times of slack. We wouldn't want the president too honed in on just one thing, now would we?

3

Trump Thinks It's Fun To Blow Stuff Up

Obviously we already knew that Trump thinks trucks are really cool, but a party close to the administration revealed that the president "wants to blow everything up" sometimes, depending on his mood. I know a few kids who can't get enough of explosions or trucks or dirt-digging tractors, either.

4

Trump Demands An Extra Scoop Of Ice Cream

Remember when Trump was served two scoops of chocolate ice cream with his pie, and everyone else got one scoop? Learning to share comes a little bit later in development for some kids, but how's he going to learn if no one's setting a good example?

5

Trump (& Most Toddlers) Have No Clue About NATO

It's true; when's the last time you consulted with a human aged 1 to 3 on North American and European military alliances? Besides, Trump has "no interest in in-depth policy issues," according to the source cited in Drenzer's tweet.

6

Trump Doesn't Like To Read — Like Most Toddlers

Rather than waste his time reading words, Trump prefers to just be told the highlights. In fact, Trump reportedly gets his briefings in "tweet-length sentences," according to The Los Angeles Times.

But then again, Trump knows words — he knows the best words.

7

Telling Trump "No" Fuels His Desire

Reverse-psychology is a powerful tool on little ones. Want your toddler to take a nap? Tell them that it's not time for bed yet! The same strategy seems to work for the president, his aides have reportedly said, according to Drenzer's investigative work.

8

He Gets Fussier Throughout The Day

Plenty of things make toddlers cranky throughout the day — hunger, sleepiness, anything from CNN — so it makes sense that mornings work better for Trump, too. "Maybe it's good for the country that the president is in a good mood in the morning," postulated a former RNC official, according to the above screen shot.

If his staff keeps up this rhetoric, Trump-as-a-toddler might become the newest political meme. Given everything the administration is attempting to handle at the moment, a little humor is sorely needed.