Dating can be as complicated as finding gold with a metal detector on the beach. Too often, you have to sift through a lot of trash to find any treasure. When that magical moment happens and you finally find someone you truly connect with, it's hard not to start planning your wedding immediately. But if you're not careful, you may end up doing something to sabotage the entire thing. If you're looking to move your relationship status from casual to committed, you should know about the worst things you can do if you want your partner to commit.
Giving your partner an ultimatum, pretending to be something you're not, and holding on to relationships from the past are just a few of the ways you can scare your partner away rather than get them to move towards something more serious. To have a strong committed relationship, both partners need to be ready and willing for the commitment. So instead of bombarding your mate with pictures of your favorite wedding gowns and honeymoon locations, you should allow your relationship to progress naturally. If the two of you are truly meant to be, both of you will know when the time is right to take things to the next level.
If you don't feel like you're getting what you deserve in your relationship, you should know your limits and be prepared to walk away if necessary. In any relationship, it's important to remember your worth. Don't settle for anything less than someone who truly cares for you and appreciates what you have to offer.
1. Force Exclusivity
If you want a commitment from your mate, they should be on the same page. You shouldn't have to provide a list of reasons for your partner to move towards exclusivity, because they should have a list of their own. Don't try to convince your partner to take the next step, as eHarmony's blog advised.
2. Give An Ultimatum
Trying to force your partner to take the relationship to the next level could make them feel as if they are backed into a corner. And as a result, they may not make a sound decision. As Elite Daily mentioned, giving your partner an ultimatum could leave you with hurt feelings if you don't get the desired result.
3. Try To Be Someone You're Not
Pretending to like football or art house films for the sake of a relationship is a bad idea. "Trying to be someone you're not is so transparent to a guy," says relationship expert Jennifer Kelman to Shape. If you're feigning interest now, it will take a lot of effort to keep it going throughout the course of your relationship. In a healthy relationship, it's important to keep it real.
4. Be Too Clingy
You may think that attaching yourself to your partner will make them want to be in a relationship, but being too clingy could actually drive them away. In any healthy partnership, both parties have their own interests outside of the things they do as a couple. As Your Tango suggested, spend some time away from the relationship — either alone or with other friends. The break will give both of you time to reflect on what you really want out of the situation.
5. Be Too Casual
While you don't want to smother your partner, you don't want to give the appearance that you are indifferent about your future. Matchmaker Siggy Flicker tells Today that pretending to be casual, when you're actually just scared of scaring him away, gives him "too much credit and power that he doesn’t deserve." If your ultimate goal is to see your relationship progress, you should be open and honest about that from the beginning.
6. Be Insecure
It can be tempting to assume that the reason why your partner hasn't put a ring on it is entirely your fault. But that insecurity can be a turn off to your mate. Your partner's reservations may be the result of issues that have nothing to do with you. Exhibiting confidence in a relationship is extremely sexy.
7. Hold On To The Past
If you want to establish a healthy, committed relationship, you need to let go of all of your baggage from the past. You'll never be able to move forward if you're still holding onto old flames and keep bringing them up —who wants to constantly be compared to someone else's ex?
8. Be Negative
If you think your relationship isn't progressing the way you want it to, it can be easy to fall into a negative state of mind. But as Psychology Today mentions, maintaining a positive personality is important to the strength of your relationship.
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