Being home with the kids all day is great but, because I also work from home, it's mentally exhausting. When my partner is home from long hours at his job, I don't want to squabble over chores or dinner. So, when I hear he's taking care of laundry and picking up the groceries, those are some of the most erotic things you could do for a stay-at-home mom. No joke.
Before we were parents, we lived by the seats of our pants. We did whatever the hell we wanted, whenever the hell we wanted, and it was fantastic and exciting. After kids, while fantastic in its own way, we're not just lovers anymore — we're parents now, too. That means my personal tastes have gone from steamy date nights to a quiet room so I can finish my damn show in peace. It's nothing personal. After 13 glorious years together, my husband and I have both changed. For example, I'm sure his idea of a good time involves a Playstation. It's already hard enough to keep the romance alive when you've been together as long as we have, but throw in kids and it's (almost) impossible sometimes. Did I mention how tired I am?
I love my partner, but if there's any kind of romance happening these days, it's because he did any of the following. The bar is low, my friends. Very, very low. I'm tired, mentally drained, and honestly, not in any kind of mood but the sleepy kind.
Let Her Sleep In
I don't think I need to keep repeating I'm tired, but I'm tired. My days begin and end the same way every day. While I lean into the regularity and appreciate knowing how things will (mostly) unfold, it's also mind-numbing at times. I can't remember the last time my partner got up with the kids so I could get a little extra sleep — and mornings are my least favorite part of the day. Imagine how appreciative I'd be to get out of bed last every now and then.
Take The Kids Off To School
Mornings are a busy time. Between school and my running and work schedules, it helps that my partner works second shift and is home to do literally anything. Those times he lets me run longer, or work earlier by taking the kids to school are everything. Can't we make it a regular, all-the-time thing now?
Allow Her "Me" Time To Unwind
Being with my kids all the time means someone is always talking and my brain rarely has a chance to re-center. Being an introvert, if I can't find some time to re-balance myself, I'll likely lose it. Me time means everyone wins, only because I'll be much more tolerable. It's more than erotic: it's, dare I say it, necessary.
Take Over Food Duties
The sexiest thing someone can do is cook me a meal, which is probably why I watch so much Beat Bobby Flay on Food Network. I enjoy cooking when I have the time because it's a great stress-reliever. My kids don't always eat what I make though, and that's a stress-creator. See the issue? So when my partner takes this challenge head on, I don't care what he makes. It's hot, both literally and figuratively.
Not everyone can afford to hire someone to clean the house, make a meal, or even babysit (we can't), but throwing in a little cash for just one of these would make my entire year. I clean every day and the house never feels clean enough. Imagine how relaxed I'd feel knowing deep cleaning was in progress and I didn't have to do it! Same with a private chef or grabbing a nice meal to take home on a night I'm already too stressed to make dinner. Or, and this is out there, find and book a damn babysitter so we can have actual alone time for an hour. There's seriously nothing more sexy than a partner who takes charge. Please. Take charge.
Run Her A Hot Bath
I know this sounds incredibly sexy. Hot water, no clothes. I can practically hear the bubbles fizz. But no. I mean run her a bath she can relax in alone. No knocks on the door. No kids walking in. Nothing. Just her (me) and a bathtub. That's the irony of it! Isn't it romantic? I think so.
Volunteer Things From Her List
Being a stay-at-home Mom, my list is endless. Some days, I'm up late trying to get it all done. While my partner helps when he's off (somewhat), my responsibilities are a real libido depressant! Clean the litter, empty the dishwasher, go to the post office, blah blah blah. I love being home with my kids but the rest? Not so much. Taking some of this off a frenzied mother's plate means she'll have more energy for, you know, other things.
Massages. Are. Every. Thing.
I'm tense by nature. It's part of my generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Actually, it takes a hell of a lot to get me to relax (hence the hot bath, please) but if my man pulls out his magical fingers and rubs my shoulders, I melt. I don't intend anything sexual by it but once I'm relaxed, who knows? You'd think he'd rather take his chances and give me a rub down, just in case. AmIright?
Tell Her How Much You Appreciate Her
There's nothing more seductive to me than when my partner reveals just how awesome he thinks I am, especially when he does it in front of our children. I know how hard I work to maintain all this and yes, I'm stressed sometimes, but I'm also happy to have the opportunity to do it.
So the next time you're wondering what you can do to thank a mom at home, start with a foot rub, then work your way up this list and I assure you, mom will be more than satisfied.