9 Reasons Marrying Your Best Friend Will Help You With Parenting
There are plenty of reasons to marry your best friend; from the comfort and trust you have with one another to the respect and admiration you have for each other to the humor and honesty you share with each other. Honestly, the list of reasons that best friends make great partners is a long one, which makes the fact that marrying your best friend can help you with parenting not at all shocking or surprising. I mean, best friends are the best. It says so, right in the name.
A recent study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research In Canada claims that marrying your best friend can make a marriage stronger and improve your overall life satisfaction. It says that friendship, rather than love or lust, allows couples to reap the "full benefits" of marriage. So, if you're looking for the signs that you and your partner are going to be amazing parents together and your partner just so happens to be your best friend, you might not have to look very far at all.
There are a lot of ways your relationship with your partner changes after you have kids, and having a baby can test your relationship in ways you couldn't have possibly imagined. I'd argue that when you marry your best friend, you have a leg-up on those impending tests, and can weather the storm that is new parenthood easier than most. I know from my own personal experience that having a baby can make your relationship stronger, but getting to that point definitely isn't an easy journey. My husband and I laughed and cried and fought and disagreed more times than I can count during our first few months as a parenting team, but we made it through the tougher times and I'm almost positive it's because my husband is also my best friend.
So, if you're getting ready to become a parent and your partner just so happens to be your best friend, here are just a few reasons why parenthood will be something you two will definitely be able to handle:
You Know Each Other's Strengths...
My husband and I are far from perfect, but we do have different strengths that essentially balance us out as a parenting team. He's an obsessive compulsive cleaner (I know, it's awesome) and an awesome cook, which is obviously quite helpful when you're raising tiny tornadoes that are constantly hungry. He's not quite as patient as I am though, so when it came to potty training or bath times (that our kids eventually hated), I was the go-to parent for weather the inevitable tantrums.
...And Each Other's Weaknesses
Parenting as a team is all about balance. Like I said, my husband and I both have different strengths and weaknesses, but we're able to balance one another out quite well. We're able to pick up where the other leaves off, and when one of us just isn't feeling like a parental rock star (because, yes, that definitely happens), the other picks up the slack.
You're Able To Laugh At The Crazy Together
Being a parent certainly has its amazing moments, but it also comes with a hand full of crazy. When you parent with your best friend, you're able to laugh at that crazy so it doesn't chip away at your will to live. Things that other people might find repulsive (i.e. explosive diapers and babies that are afraid of vacuum cleaners) parents, especially best friends who have kids together, are able to just laugh off. Honestly, your choices are to either laugh or simply cry as you drown your sorrows in a bottomless pint of ice cream (although, that's understandable too).
You Support One Another
Support from your partner is arguably the most important thing you need when you're raising kids together. No one is perfect at this whole parenting thing and everyone makes mistakes and has regrets and feels like they're lost or insane or failing. However, if you've got someone who supports you through those fleeting moments of doubt, you won't find yourself feeling defeated all the time. My husband makes me feel supported constantly, even on the days when I feel like I'm going to scream or run away and especially on the days when I'm a little irrational and probably not giving him or our kids or even myself my best. It's in those moments that you need your best friend the most, and I'm just so thankful that I married mine.
You're Not Afraid To Break Down In Front Of Them
If anyone has ever made it through their parenting journey without having a massive meltdown, I'd like to meet them. Parenting is hard, y'all. It's so hard and when parenting feels more like you're losing a life game others are just naturally talented at, sometimes you need to just break down and let it all out. Showing your raw and unfiltered emotions can make you feel vulnerable, but when you're parenting with your best friend, being open and honest with those feelings and vulnerabilities is just second nature.
You're Completely Comfortable With Each Other
My first few months as a mother were spent in over-sized shirts and yoga pants, with hair that didn't get washed nearly enough and bags under my eyes so big that I could have carried groceries in them. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, and taking care of our newborn 24/7 made taking care of myself a laughable concept. I'm so thankful that I didn't have the added stress of feeling like I had to look or act a certain way to be "attractive" or "desirable" for my husband.
You're Able To Be Honest With One Another
After we had our first son, I felt like I just wasn't as in love with being a mom as much as I was supposed to be. My feelings of sadness and resentment lingered longer than I was comfortable with, and my husband took notice. He talked to me about how I was feeling and started a conversation I didn't necessarily want to have, but definitely needed to have. With his support, I discussed postpartum depression with my doctor and, thankfully, got the help that I needed. It's hard to be completely expose yourself sometimes, but partnering with your best friend definitely makes it easier.
You Treat Parenting Like A Team Sport
Parenting is a team sport. The highs and lows and ups and downs are all shared by both parts of the parenting team. When one parent loses, they both lose, and when one parent wins, they both win. There is no such thing as keeping score when you're parenting with your best friend. No one counts who has changed the most diapers or given the baby the most bottles; no one keeps tabs on who got up in the middle of the night to change the baby or who has gotten the least amount of sleep. When you're parenting with your best friend, you're not competing against each other, because you're both on the same team.
You Are Giving Your Kids A Good Example
There are a million different ways to be a good parent and to be an example to your children. For the parents who married their best friends, one of the greatest things they can give their children is an example of a strong and united relationship. You're showing them that couples can make it work; that they can compromise; that they can work together. That's not just important for the future of their romantic relationships, but for their relationships with everyone.