The dating world can be fierce, unforgiving, and just plain sh*tty. All you want is to find someone who can appreciate a good Netflix session (no chill needed) and has adequate personal hygiene, right? OK. You probably have a few more qualities you're looking for and, sure, while perfection doesn't exist, you still hope you can find someone who's compatible, doesn't drive you insane, and won't mock your television choices. Let's be real here, you basically want to date yourself.
And is that such a terrible thing? Um, no. For one thing, you're pretty damn awesome. You're a total catch and anyone would be lucky to have you. So why be so hard on yourself in the dating world? Your friends love to say things like, "It's not you, it's them." They remind you all the time how it's someone else's loss, not yours, and that they'll realize "what they had" one day. With all of those cliche lines and your rocking personality, it's pretty obvious that dating yourself guarantees happiness. Sure, you may find someone one day who makes your heart beat wildly and fits into your life like a puzzle, but in the meantime? Take yourself out on a date. You are beautiful, you are fun, you are smart, and you deserve it. If you're still unsure, I've got nine reasons why you should totally date yourself, and when you finish reading them, you're going to be all, "Damn. I'm the perfect SO." Just don't make out with the mirror, OK?
1You Don't Talk During Your Favorite Song
There are few things more annoying than your favorite song coming on and your SO refusing to be quiet for three minutes, am I right? You'll never do that to yourself. Instead, you'll have a dance party to end all dance parties and want to kiss yourself on the mouth.
2You Always Make Sure You're Satisfied In Bed
Nothing worse than a partner who doesn't care about your sexual needs. You'll never let yourself go to bed sexually frustrated and major bonus? You know exactly what you like and how to make it happen.
3You Don't Steal The Covers
I can not tell you how many times I've woken up totally freezing while my boyfriend is wrapped up like an adorable duvet burrito. Take back the covers, and your bed, when you date yourself.
4Your Netflix Queue Is Perfect
Netflix and chill is so much better when you've curated the perfect Netflix queue. Can you imagine if you went on a date with someone and the first thing on their list was Gilmore Girls? You'd probably skip straight to the chill.
5You Always Have Wine
Your SO may have a bottle of Jager or some beer in the fridge, but the wine is nowhere to be found. Um, definite reason to date yourself. There's always a bottle in the house and you don't have to impress anyone by using a fancy wine glass. Pour that magic elixir into a measuring glass and move on with your life.
6You Don't Bitch About How Much Time You Spend In Target
Stay in that dollar section as long as you like because you don't care how much time you spend in Target. And if you say something like, "so today at Target," you're not going to interrupt yourself with an eyeroll, are you? No. You're going to ask how many hedgehog shaped serving dishes you bought.
7You Don't Have To Compromise On Dinner
"What do you want to eat? I don't want Mexican. And I had sushi for lunch. And I'm really not feeling anything Mediterranean or Asian. But I'm not picky." UGH. This conundrum that defies all logic? Over. You don't have to solve this puzzle when you're dating yourself. Here's what deciding for dinner looks like when you are your own SO:
"I want sushi for dinner." Buys sushi. Goes home. Eats sushi. Done.
8You Can Watch 'Teen Mom' Without Being Ridiculed
And all the other trash TV you love. No more comments from the peanut gallery about how terrible it is, how scripted the conversations are, or how ridiculous you are for watching it. Soak it in, girl. Soak it in.
9You Don't Leave Disgusting Beard Hairs In The Sink
The war to end all wars. Best reason to date yourself? You don't leave your pube-looking beard hairs all over the sink, making tiny, sharp tumbleweeds to mix in with your toothpaste and clog your drains forever. I mean, you may have foundation all over the counter or a bra hanging on the doorknob, but say it with me — no beard hairs.