When it comes to the end of a relationship, there are usually two kinds of breakups. There’s the one you saw coming months before it happened, the one you could brace yourself for. And then there’s the one that seems to come out of nowhere and sucker punch you right in the heart. You wonder why there wasn’t any warning, but maybe you just missed the signs that your partner wants to break up.

Sure, if your partner says, “I don’t think this is working out,” that’s a pretty clear cut sign. But your SO may be dropping some subtle hints that they’re ready for the relationship to end. When you don’t feel that a breakup is imminent, it’s easy to try and convince yourself that everything is fine. You assume your partner’s crabby because they had a bad day at work or didn’t get enough sleep last night. The trouble is, the more you deny that your relationship is on its way out, the harder it is to see what exactly your partner is trying to convey — that they’re done. Going through a breakup is never easy, but with these nine signs that your partner wants to break up, you can prepare your heart for it.

1. Radio Silence

Can’t get your SO to answer their phone or text you back? Not a good sign. Ignoring you is more than just bad communication. It shows that your partner doesn’t think you, or your relationship, is worth the effort it takes to send back an emoji or two.

2. Their Eyes Are Always Rolling

Your partner used to think it was cute when you sang Taylor Swift first thing in the morning, but now a mere hum leads to a massive eyeroll. If your SO seems annoyed with absolutely everything you do, and they won’t explain why, they’re using their annoyance to hide their resentment. Anybody who wants to work things out will sit down and talk to you about the things that drive them crazy, not resort to angry teenager eyes.

3. They’re Quick To Anger

So you left the lid on the peanut butter jar a little loose. That doesn’t warrant slamming cupboard doors and starting a huge fight. You know this tiny incident isn’t the source of your partner’s anger, but it has triggered some other frustration from your relationship. Being angry is an excellent excuse to distance yourself from someone without looking like the bad guy, which is exactly what your partner wants if they’re ready for a break up.

4. Affection No Longer Exists

If you can’t remember the last time your partner kissed you or gave you a quick squeeze, you may be headed to the single life. People often withhold affection when they're angry, frustrated, or trying to punish their partner. Not only can it make you feel less connected to your partner, it also gives them the control to end things.

5. They Refuse To Do Anything With You

Once upon a time, you and your SO would go on adventerous dates. Now you can’t even get them to run with you to Target. If they’re losing interest in doing things that include you, they’re probably losing interest in you.

6. You’ve Become Invisible

Whether it’s on social media or at the bar with all of your friends, no one likes to be ignored. If your partner doesn’t acknowledge you or even glance your way, you might want to prepare yourself for the end. Your SO should be excited to be seen with you and ready to let the entire world know. Distancing themselves from you is distancing themselves from your relationship, and may their way of preparing you for the eventual break up.

7. Conversations Don’t Exist

You and your partner used to spend hours talking about everything . Your careers, your families, your favorite Facebook memes of the day, nothing was off limits. Now, it seems like you can barely get two words out of your SO. Losing interest in the relationship is bad enough, but if your partner isn’t even putting the effort into having a conversation with you, you deserve better.

8. Pronouns Change

Remember when the two of you used to talk about the future without really talking about the future? Your partner would say things like, “when we go to Paris one day” or “I think a one bedroom apartment would be enough for us,” and your heart would swell with happiness. When “we” and “us” are replaced with “I” and “me”, it’s not a good sign. If your SO doesn’t include you in talks about the future, they probably don’t see one with you anymore.

9. They “Need A Break”

Sometimes your partner really may need some time away to clear their heads after a fight. But if they insist on a long term break from the relationship, they may be edging towards a break up. Cliche lines like, “I need to figure out what I want” or “Things are just too complicated right now” are their way of saying “I don’t want you by my side.”

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