Romper

9 Things Your Baby Is Thinking When You Put Them In Their Carrier

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On occasion, when using my baby’s carrier and travel system, I’d get a comment from an older acquaintance or family member about how far baby gear has come in recent years. I get it, I really do. I honestly have no idea how my parents carted me and my brother around in the eighties, but I know it definitely wasn’t in a carrier that snapped into a car seat base and a stroller. While we know what adults think about these inventions, we can only guess what a baby thinks when you put them in their carrier.

Are they excited? Are they curious? Are they, too, thinking about the advances in technology and how far baby transportation has evolved in the last twenty or thirty years? Or, are they merely going through the motions until their brains develop further along and full, cohesive thoughts start to form? My guess is all of the above.

While my son grew out of his carrier long ago, we got our fair share of use out of it. I have an especially impressive collection of photos of him nestled in it, because obviously a new parent’s going to capture any and all moments at least forty-seven times in the first few months. I have no regrets though. In fact, I have a historical archive of the facial expressions that go along with the thoughts he might have had, which (I'm convinced) included the following:

"So, Where Are You Taking Me?"

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And, the follow-up to that question is,"How do we know it’s somewhere I want to go?" I mean, you haven’t let me down yet, but at some point I’m sure the novelty will wear off since I can only go so many places for the first time.

"Surely, This Thing Is Just As Easy For You To Carry As It Is For Me To Chill In"

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You’re only appearing to strain because you love me so much that it makes you weak, right? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that this whole contraption weighs like twenty times my birth weight.  

"You Make It Look So Easy"

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I mean, aside from the whole shaking arms thing. Still, you’ve got me and the diaper bag and your purse and your coffee all balanced at impressive angles, so clearly you’re a master.

"Why Doesn’t Everyone Travel In A Portable Cave Pod?"

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Like, I feel like I’m in the womb again. Life on the outside is just amazing.

"You Can Hand Me My Personal Entertainment Devices Now"

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As in, more dangly things attached to the handle, please. Preferably soft and plush with jingly bells inside that I can grab and chew on. Thanks in advance.

"Um, Why So Many Straps? Don’t You Trust Me?"

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You’ve seen how good I am at squeezing out of my swaddle. Is this just the next level of challenge? If so, challenge accepted.

"Does It Have To Be So Tight?"

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Oh, so I’m not supposed to squeeze out of these straps? I’m going to need a moment to process this brand new information. That’s not what I thought I was signing up for.

"Guess What? I’m About To Fill My Diaper."

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I know, I know; I’m sorry too. However, that’s just how this works. The longer you spend doing something, the more likely I am to make a mess. I can’t help the laws of the world.

"Good Talk. Now I’m Just Going To Nap Until We Arrive At Our Destination."

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Then I wake up in a sour mood and require you to tend to me for the duration of our outing. I’ll be sure to rest my head on your shoulder just enough that it’s still worth it and at least semi-pleasant for you, though.