No matter how empowered and confident of a woman you are, there may be a few post-pregnancy moments where you feel less than sexy. It's to be expected, right? But that doesn't mean it has to be your new reality. I think it's especially hard for moms to do the work themselves. I mean, you can only write down the things you love about yourself so many times. Often, you need someone to reassure you, which is why it's great to know things your partner can do to make you feel sexy post-pregnancy.

Most women can attest to the fact that feeling and being sexy is about so much more than your physical appearance, but for moms, I think that realization is even more important to keep in mind. Even if you find yourself at your pre-pregnancy weight, even if your favorite, skinniest pair of jeans fit, and even if you manage to shower and fix your hair every day (you sorcerer, you), that doesn't mean you're going to feel sexy. Becoming a mom is a huge change, and even without the burp cloths, it can make you feel like a different version of yourself. And sometimes? That version doesn't feel so sexy.

But you have enough going on, OK? It's hard enough to handle the new life of motherhood, let alone keeping yourself empowered and confident every day. Talk to your SO about the nine things they can do to make you feel sexy post-pregnancy so that you can get your groove back. Some are subtle enough that you won't even realize they've happened until one day you wake up and bam — there you are. A new mom, but your sexy, happy, confident self, all wrapped up in one.

1. They Can Appreciate Your New Shape


Things are different post-pregnancy, including your body. It can take a while to get back to feeling normal, especially with new boobs, hips, and tummy, but when your partner takes the time to appreciate your body (and express it to you), you can feel like the goddess you are. It's especially helpful if your SO is totally mesmerized by the fact that, you know, you created a human life inside of your body and then delivered it. How sexy is that?

2. They Can Take Pictures Of You


You know what makes me feel sexy? When my boyfriend snaps a picture of me playing on the floor with my daughter or cooking with her in the kitchen. I think it's because not only do moms often get the shaft with pictures, but that it just feels like he wanted to remember that moment forever. Whether your SO is taking cute pictures of you and your baby or just you on your own, it feels incredibly lovely to know that your partner was so moved by you, in that moment, that they had to capture the moment forever.

3. They Can Buy You Something Sexy To Wear


Even if it sits in your closet for a few weeks, knowing that your partner thought you would not only love it, but look great in it, can make you feel good. Maybe it's a sundress, maybe it's lingerie, or maybe it's a pair of leggings in your favorite color — whatever makes you feel good is what matters.

4. They Can Take You On A Date


Like a real, actual date. Dinner, candles, and lots of quality time together. Look, it's easy to blame your kids for not having any time as a couple and it's even easier to assume that it's just not worth the effort. But it is worth it and when your partner takes the actions necessary to make an awesome date night happen, you'll feel worth it, too.

5. They Listen To You


Remember, feeling sexy isn't just about your physical appearance, it's about how you feel. Your words are important, so when your SO listens to you talk about your day, about the frustrations you're feeling, or even about the funny article you read about Kim Kardashian, it can make you feel sexy. All eyes on you and your partner actually listening to what you have to say and engaging with you? You'll be feeling not only worth it, but desired, too.

6. They Thank You For Your Child


Having a baby is no small potatoes and I know you're immensely proud of yourself for doing it, but when your partner takes the time to thank you for your child and also recognize everything it took, you'll feel even sexier about your role as a mom and goddess.

7. They Touch You Like They Did Before You Were Pregnant


No shying away from your new postpartum belly, no feeling unsure about initiating sex — when your partner still gets as turned on by you as they did pre-pregnancy, you'll feel it.

8. They Help You Focus On Self-Care


Feeling sexy is all about taking care of yourself and having the support of your SO during those moments is so important. If you want to head to the gym, your partner offers to watch the baby. If you want to take a walk around the block, they join you. If you're stressed about the state of the house and just want to watch Netflix and eat snacks, they fix you a bowl of ice cream and hand you the remote.

9. They Are Intimate In Small Ways


Like a hand on the bottom of your back while you're walking through Babies R Us or kissing you as they head into the laundry room with a basket full of burp cloths. Intimacy isn't just found in sex, and all of those little moments will add up.