9 Times Ryan Reynolds Parented Like Deadpool & Made Everyone Cry From Laughing
Ryan Reynolds is enjoying a Real Moment. He has left his years of forgettable movies in the past (and, true to form, we've all forgotten them), he is married to Blake Lively, the woman for whom the word "ethereal" was probably invented. He is a father of one little girl with another on the way. He is very lovely to look at for long stretches of time on the internet, with a glass of Pinot in your boudoir and the shades drawn. And let's not forget, he is Deadpool. Now let's have a look at the nine times Reynolds actually parented like Deadpool and had us all peeing our pants laughing.
Haven't heard of Deadpool? Yeah, I don't believe you, but I'll play along if that's what you want. Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, is a fictional comic book character and ex-CIA agent with crazy good healing powers, a badly messed up appearance... and the potty mouth to end all potty mouths. Reynolds played the Marvel comic book character in the movie of the same name (much to everyone's delight) and his performance won widespread praise from critics and fans alike, proving once and for all that people will shell out money to see an R-rated comic book flick (and yeah, that includes women, guys).
I almost feel like it's not fair to praise him too strongly though; Based on some of his parenting quotes, I think Reynolds might just basically be Deadpool (sort of in the same way that Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man). So how hard could it have been to play him in a movie, right?
Want to know what sort of dad the ever-irreverent Deadpool would make? Read on.
He's Not Always The Warm Fuzzy Dad
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
Nobody wants to have kid mucus sneezed into their mouth. Reynolds gets it. I'm pretty sure Deadpool would feel the same way. But the dark bit at the end about "she'll have to bury me someday" is where he really channels Deadpool, folks.
He Didn't Shy Away From Teaching Her The Facts of Life
Happy birthday to my baby girl! Sad I lost my virginity. But thankful I have a daughter.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) December 16, 2015
Although I don't know, I sort of feel like Reynolds, aka Deadpool, lost his virginity long ago. But would he lie to us, do you think? No... probably not.
Honesty Is The Best Policy?
I can honestly picture him softly crooning this to his daughter in his Deadpool costume, rocking her slowly. Not going to lie, it's a disturbing picture.
That Time He Proved His Mad Leadership Skills
Blake Lively clearly hitched her wagon to a star with this one, right? Last Halloween Reynolds/Deadpool went out looking to train some "not so gifted youngsters" (teeny, tiny X-Men) and practiced his parenting skills at the same time. My favorite quote? When little Cyclops said from his perch on the swing, "I think Deadpool might be drunk." Fantastic.
When He Got His Dad-Priorities Straight
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
Must be nice having a quasi-superhero as a dad, right?
When He Tried To Understand His Daughter
And what better way than recruiting a little Judy Blume, right?
When Partying Took On A Whole New Meaning
Got totally messed up on probiotics last night and digested the fuck out of dinner.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 28, 2015
Having a kid doesn't stop this party train.
Believe me, probiotics are where it's at. And even superheroes like Deadpool need to take care of themselves.
When He Tried To Save A Fortune On Daycare
For anyone wondering, this is the picture to which he's referring:
These baby cages were used in apartments in the 1930s to make sure the child got enough fresh air and sunlight. pic.twitter.com/gsXKmPb4FW— Daily Planet (@DailyPlanetDC) June 25, 2015
Because the kids are still getting sunlight and fresh air... so it's all good. Right?
When He Gave His Daughter A Healthy Dose Of Reality
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
Let's be fair here. Have you ever seen the artwork of a 6-month-old? And I bet Reynolds fridge is very state-of-the-art. He can't be expected to hang just anything on it. With any luck, she'll try harder next time.
So thank you, Ryan Reynolds/Deadpool, for reminding us that you can still be a foul-mouthed, lovable goofball and a dad at the same time. I had always sort of assumed the two roles were mutually exclusive.