Sure, almost everyone wants to be a dynamo in the sack. Unfortunately, this fantasy does not always meet reality. Despite your best intentions, you may be wasting time on moves your partner doesn't enjoy and totally skipping over the favorites. That's why it's important to watch out for the subtle signs your partner doesn't think you're great in bed (and what to do about that).
Now of course, even the most sexual being has an off day now and then. And there's no reason to feel like a failure if you don't want to, say, bust out the French maid outfit every single night. That said, there are easy ways to improve your bedroom game to meet your own partner's unique needs.
Communication is key here, as always, but it may not always be in the form of straightforward dialogue. (Although a frank discussion about sexual wants and needs would seem to benefit most any romantic relationship). Paying attention to positive feedback — whether that's in the form of increased breathing or just general happy sounds — is one way to make sure your efforts aren't wasted. In time, you won't have to worry about whether your are pleasing your partner in bed, because you'll know exactly how to get the job done.
1. You Opt For Monotonous Positions
Hey, missionary is great and wonderful and it works for most couples. That said, it's smart to break out of the box from time to time regardless. As noted in Women's Health, changing up your sex positions is a surefire way to keep your love life interesting. If you need inspiration, here are some comfortable sex positions that are great for expanding your sexual horizons.
2. You Won't Give Toys A Try
Embrace the joys of better living through technology. As noted in Everyday Health, using sex toys does not mean that you or your partner is lacking in the skills department. On the contrary, a vibe or some ropes may help you both feel a little more wild and crazy than normal.
3. You Skip Over Oral
Oral sex does not have to be a rushed moment of foreplay, or some consolidation prize if your or your partner can't do penetrative sex at the moment. In fact, if you just approach oral sex with a sense of confidence and awesomeness, then chances are both your and your partner will appreciate the improved mood. Guess what? The sexiness was in you all along.
4. You Keep Things Strictly To Bedroom
Sometimes a change of scenery is all you need to boost your love life. According to Redbook, having sex in the car, living room, or any other place but the bedroom is a fun way to keep your partner guessing. It prevents any moment of boredom from sneaking in.
5. You Don't Send Sexy Texts
OK, so you don't have to bare it all if you have a healthy fear of some nudes getting out of your control. But as noted in Cosmopolitan, swapping flirty texts during the day can keep you and your SO primed for an evening of fun. It's an easy way to keep those fires stoked.
6. You Ignore Kinks
You are definitely not obliged to do anything in bed — ever. But if your partner has some reasonable kinks, then it may be fun to give them a try, as noted in Your Tango. You just might like it.
7. You Play Passive
Do you always expect your partner to make the first move? Take a tip from Fitness magazine and come on to your partner. Chances are, you'll both be surprised by the results. After all, feeling desired is a pretty universal turn-on.
8. You Only Have Quickies
Hey, most everyone likes a good quickie now and then. But it's also great to slow down and explore one another from time to time, according to WebMD. It gives sensuality a space in your relationship again.
9. You Don't Talk About It
Open communication is one of, if not the, most important factors in a healthy relationship. Neither you nor your partner is a mind-reader, so if there's something specific that you want to know about in the bedroom, don't hesitate to speak up. Talking about your likes and dislikes together is the best way to make sure everyone's needs are met (or even exceeded).