I never expected to be divorced. I don't think anyone does, to be honest. And when you think about what would have to happen in order for you to leave your marriage, you see late-night emails between your spouse and a new person. You see abuse, a jealous partner blowing up your phone during girls' night, or a demanding mother-in-law that wedges herself into your marriage. What you don't see are the unusual signs that predict the end of your marriage, signs that you've chalked up to normal behavior or don't even notice at all.
The thought of leaving your marriage isn't always an over-night deal. For most people, it happens little by little. You're suddenly worn down by your spouse, feeling less in love with them each day. You go to bed at night a little more resentful, a little sadder, and you have to pep yourself up the next day to be ready. Today's the day, you think. You're going to work really hard to fix everything. And then, without any circumstance to pin it on, you feel your marriage slipping out of your hands until it's gone and there's no way to get it back. Like a balloon floating off in the sky or a rock sinking to the bottom of the river. And you'll sit there and wonder how in the world you got there. When there's nothing major that happens, when every day seems to be a struggle and the two of you just can't get it together, it could be one of these 9 unusual signs predicting your marriage's end. None are guaranteed, of course, but they're worth looking at if you ever feel like you and your spouse are on totally different wavelengths for seemingly no reason at all.
1. You Were Nervous Before The Wedding
And I don't mean being worried about the weather. A study conducted by the Journal of Family Psychology found that women who admitted to having doubts about their marriage before the wedding had a higher four-year divorce rate than those who said they didn't have any pre-wedding jitters. They say you should listen to your gut, right?
2. You Two Have Debt
It's no big secret that finances can cause arguments and a lot of hurt feelings, but recent findings have shown that those who amass consumer debt are more likely to divorce. The study also found that even if a couple enters into a marriage with zero debt, the more they create as their marriage goes on, the more likely they are to head towards divorce.
3. One of You Spends More Money Than The Other
If you and your spouse often fight over one of you being frivolous with your money while the other tries to save, you may already know that it can harm your marriage. The previous study also found that when one spouse felt that the other spent money recklessly, they had a 45 percent chance of divorcing. It is third only to adultery and alcohol or drug abuse for ruining marriages. Whether it's you or your spouse with a spending problem, it's one you need a solution for before you're spending more money on a divorce.
4. You Yell At Each Other
Even if the two of you make up frequently and your yelling is simply the way you argue, it can be a huge predictor of divorce. A study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that this destructive behavior led to newlyweds divorcing by year seven of the marriage and couples who had been married at least five years that exhibited this behavior usually divorced by year fourteen of their marriage. Even if you don't mean to yell and even if you truly love your spouse, it's just the way you exhibit frustration and anger, it's worth changing for the sake of your marriage.
5. You Married After The Age Of 32
The common beleif is that marrying too young can negatively affect a marriage, but waiting too long isn't always good for you either. It's been found that for every year after the age of 32 that you wait to get married, your chances of divorcing increase by five percent.
6. You Or Your Spouse Is An Entertainer
Some believe that a high-stress job automatically leads to a divorce, but that's not always the case. While a study conducted at INSEAD Business Scholl found that nurses have a divorce rate of 28.95 percent, dancers and choreographers topped the charts with a divorce rate of 43.05 percent. Entertainers, performers, and sports-related occupations also made the list with a 28.49 percent divorce rate. Maybe one of you should consider a job as an agricultural engineer, a career that boasted only a 1.78 percent divorce rate.
7. This Is A Second Marriage For One Of You
You've been divorced once and it was painful, expensive, and awful. You never want to do it again, right? Studies show that, unfortunately, 67 percent of second marriages will end in divorce. Whether it's because you married too quickly, had the stress of stepchildren, or because you've been divorced before and it's easy to do again, no one's sure. But second marriages seem to need more work and faith to keep going.
8. You Have A Daughter
Research conducted by Gordon B. Dahl and Enrico Moretti found that families with a first-born daughter were five percent more likely to divorce than parents of a first-born son. The study surveyed more than three million adults, so the statistic seems real, but no one's sure why it seems to hold up. Whether it's because husbands are more likely to work on a troubling marriage if there's a son involved or because mothers are less likely to put up with bad times if there's a daughter around to see, it's definitely something you should keep in mind.
9. One Of You Didn't Smile In Childhood Pictures
Yep. Apparently those frowny faces you and/or your spouse exhibited in all of the childhood pictures could represent your divorce fate. Two studies were conducted by DePauw University. The first was a look at participants' smiles in college yearbook photos while the second study focused on pictures from childhood to adulthood. Combined, it was found that the less intense a person's smile was in pictures, the more likely they were to be divorced, up to five percent.