Women are getting seriously screwed — and not in the way they want — leading to multiple Googles searches for ways to have a better orgasm (or any orgasm.) And it's a little bit surprising. A recent survey from Cosmopolitan found that only 57 percent of women experience an orgasm while having sex with their partners. But there’s more. In the same survey, 50 percent of women reported they come close to climaxing only to have their partners stop before they reach the finish line.
I personally think porn is partially to blame. Or, at the very least, a steamy 50 Shades of Grey scene. Thanks to these adult films, women are led to believe that vaginal penetration is enough to make them orgasm, and that you can successfully climax in three minutes. But those situations are rarely the case. But what’s even more disappointing is that men don’t experience the same let down. When Cosmopolitan surveyed these women’s partners, they claimed to orgasm 95 percent of the time.
So let’s give you a bedroom experience to remember, shall we? Monica Geller may not be around to show your partner all of those extra erogenous zones, so here are nine ways to bring yourself to a better orgasm.
Life happens, and sometimes you’re going to get super stressed. We already know stress isn’t great for us, but it’s especially bad for your libido. Sexologist Logan Levkoff (hey, that sounds like a cool job) writes that cortisol, a hormone produced by stress, can actually suppress your sex hormones. With a lower libido, your chance at having an amazing orgasm decreases. So when it comes time to shag, put everything out of your mind and just relax.
2. Try a New Position
How can you know what feels good with your partner if you don’t explore your own body? Masturbation is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself, so become an expert on your own orgasms.
4. Don’t Forget Foreplay
According to the American Sociological Review, women report that they are more likely to climax when foreplay is involved. And we’re not just talking about a makeout session, though that’s always a plus. Women specifically cited clitoral stimulation for improving their odds of orgasms.
5. Slow Down
Having your partner bring you to the brink of an orgasm before slowing down your stimulation may seem frustrating, but it can build to an incredibly powerful end. The Journal of Sex Research surveyed men and women in regards to their masturbating techniques. Researchers found that those who stopped themselves just before reaching climax enjoyed a more intense and more satisfying orgasm.
6. Trust Your Senses
Blindfolding is no new trick when it comes to sex, but it’s still an amazing one. According to Psychology Today, losing your sight (temporarily, of course), kicks your other senses into overdrive and makes everything more intense. Plus, you’ll look incredibly sexy wearing a blindfold. Everybody wins!
Sometimes you have to give your partner some guidance, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Let them know what feels good, what doesn’t, and if you need to change positions. Communication can also include some dirty talk, which is sure to turn on both of your libidos.
8. Build Up to It
We all know how important foreplay is to sex, but the anticipation and excitement can start before you even get near the bedroom. Try teasing your partner first thing in the morning and send detailed texts throughout the day. When you’re finally alone, extend the wait even further with back massages and cuddles. Once you’re finally ready to do it, you’re going to be on fire.