OMG, You Can Turn Your Dad Into A Cheese Sculpture For Father's Day

What do you get the dad who has everything on Father's Day? Take him out for a steak dinner? Give him an Amazon gift card? A coupon for a free car wash? (Unless you're like, under the age of 17, this just won't work anymore.) Look, it's hard to tell your dad how much you love him, especially when he's got plenty of golf clubs and coffee mugs, but Kraft has you covered. The iconic brand, the one that brought you boxes and boxes of macaroni and cheese for dinner, is creating a cheese sculpture of your dad for the highest bidder and yes, this is what it feels like to have your mind blown.

There are so many dad jokes hidden in this contest, and they're all just waiting to happen. You know how cheesy your dad is, so get him a cheese sculpture of his head, right? If cutting the cheese was a pull-my-finger pastime of his when you were a kid, why not have the cheese cut into the shape of his noggin? If... OK. That's probably enough of the cheesy dad jokes. (Hey! One more!) But there's plenty more to talk about when it comes to this ultimate Father's Day gift. In a press release, Kraft revealed that they're offering this last-minute gift in the form of an eBay auction. There are only five sculptures up for grabs, so you'll have to act fast since the bidding ends at 6 p.m. EST, June 12.


Curious as to how they'll craft this cheesy version of your dad? Turns out, the sculpture starts out as a 40-pound block of Kraft sharp cheddar cheese and will take three days to turn into your dad's likeness. Director of Kraft's brand building, Anne Field, noted in the release, "At Kraft, we believe that you don't have to be perfect to be great in the eyes of your kids. So for all the dads out there, we want to celebrate how you Family Greatly in our own cheesy way. Will your cheese sculpture be perfect? No. Will it be great? Absolutely (kinda like dad)."

I mean. It is perfection, really.

You'll also get more than a great sculpture of your dad in the form of a block of cheese. Kraft is giving back in a major way with this bidding war. All proceeds from the auction will go toward Feeding America, the nation's "largest domestic hunger-relief organization, working to connect people with food and end hunger through a network of 200 member food banks," noted the press release. Better yet, Kraft will have a dollar-for-dollar donation match up to $25,000.

I know, that seems like a big chunk of change. But you're in luck. As of right now, the bidding is still under $1,000, so if the cheese sculpture is the Father's Day gift of your dreams, you can still score it if you bid soon. Honestly, I don't know what you'll do with the sculpture afterwards. Dip crackers in it and tell funny stories about your dad? Fight over who gets to take his nose like he always did to you when you were a kid? Just stare at it and let it take the center of the kitchen table until your other parent eventually tosses it? No matter what, this will be one Father's Day the entire family will remember. Nothing can beat a cheese sculpture, honestly. It's way classier than an ice sculpture that's going to melt as soon as you bring it out, and if there's anything that resembles your childhood more, it's pairing Kraft with your dad. (I'm pretty sure their macaroni and cheese was the only thing my dad knew how to make us — and I was totally fine with that.)