There are lots of moments in life you feel as though you're absolutely prepared for — college graduation, buying a home — but some things are just crapshoots. Having kids is top among them, but what about the pregnancy? What about intimacy during pregnancy? You may wonder, "Am I ready for pregnancy sex?" The answer may be more intuitive than you think.
A lot of pregnant women, myself included, worry over sex during pregnancy. It can feel loaded, like it has the capability to damage a pregnancy or even your relationship with your partner. It's complicated and messy, and sometimes it seems as though it might be easier to give it up entirely as opposed to just giving it up to your partner.
But are you ready for pregnancy sex and all that it entails? On a purely physical level, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that a woman can have sex from conception to delivery, provided her doctor gives her a clean bill of health and the permission to engage in sexual activity. But it's worth noting that during certain times of pregnancy, particularly the first and last trimesters, you may not want to have sex, and that's OK, too. Or, alternatively, you could be ridiculously horny and ready to go. You may need to shift your routine to make sex more comfortable as well, like trying out new positions or a different time of day to have sex.
I spoke with London-based midwife, Gemma Bishop about the issue, and she had some interesting insights, too.
Bishop tells Romper, "If your doctor or midwife says you can have sex, you can. But you may not feel ready. Your hormones aren't the only things in turmoil — your whole body is changing, and that might make you reticent to have sex. If that's the case, don't worry about it. You're ready when you're ready, and no one should push you." She adds that many women are apprehensive about sex, especially early on, but if they talk to their provider, it can help allay their fears, allowing them to be more open to the idea.
"Honestly, you may never feel completely ready, but you may be willing to give it a go anyhow. If your doctor or midwife says it's safe, you could find yourself changing your mind once you realize just how sensual sex can be when you're pregnant," Bishop says.
While I didn't feel at all sensual with my first pregnancy, by my second, I took full advantage of my new boobs and bigger hips for fun evenings with my husband. You might just find that you do, too. It doesn't have to be like jumping in a cold pool though. You can start by dipping in a toe and working up to the full-body fun time, so long as your doctor says you're ready to go.