I'm not 100 percent sure how mom-shamers find time to raise their kids. What with all the social media trolling and the finger-wagging who, in the world would have time to figure out bedtimes and make lunches? Do you see what I did there? I was totally trying to shame the mom-shamers in a real classic bait-and-switch move. I needn't have bothered in the case of Lauren Burnham's recent mom-shaming experience, to be honest. Her fella had it covered. In fact, Arie Luyendyk Jr.'s response to mom-shamers coming after Lauren for going out is exactly what we need to see all husbands, fathers, and men in general too. Because those mom-shamers probably aren't opposed to crossing the aisle and becoming dad-shamers so you could be next.
The Bachelor couple welcomed their first child together, daughter Alessi Ren, on May 29, as People reported. In the week since, it seems the two have been getting accustomed to their new lives as a family of three, and it also seems Lauren needed a bit of a break. I know... the horror, right? Aren't moms supposed to stop being sentient beings once their baby is born and continue to breathe for the sole purpose of their child?
Apparently, Lauren thought a little lunch out with a friend would be a fun idea to share with her followers on Instagram on Wednesday, captioning a photo: "First time out of the house without Alessi and I only cried one time. I’d say it’s a win."
Unfortunately the new mom found herself inducted into the celebrity mom-shamed club just one week after her baby was born.
Some followers praised Lauren and supported the idea that she was taking time for self-care, but others got judgmental fast.
"Wow you left her faster then any mother I know," one person commented on the photo. "Must of been for a good occasion."
Another said, "Lol I didn’t leave my baby until she was 4 months and I cried."
"I don’t know how she is out and about in like 6 days after baby. I was a hot mess," one more chimed in.
One follower in particular had Lauren's back: her husband Arie. He promptly took to Lauren's Instagram post to clap back at the mom-shamers, writing:
To all the negative comments regarding leaving her with grandma for a 45min lunch, cut her some slack! It was my idea because she has been working so hard to keep up and quite frankly I commend her for 1. Being an incredible mom and getting the breast feeding down enough to make sure she had enough while she was at lunch. (Moms know that breastfeeding can be difficult) and 2. So much of being a good parent is making sure you take care of yourself. She wanted a healthy meal with her sister who is in town. I get so frustrated at the comments because she is such a kind soul and takes these comments to heart. Be kind people!
No mother should be expected to explain herself if she wants to go for lunch and take some time for herself, it's utterly ridiculous. Self-care is vital for a mother's well-being, especially in those emotionally trying few months after baby first arrives and you realize just how much your life is going to change.
I'm glad Lauren didn't actually respond to the mom-shamers and to be honest, I think Arie's response is important for a few reasons. First of all, it shows he supports his wife and that's great. But it also points to an ancient stereotype that is getting super dusty and tired; no one was asking him what he was doing as the baby's father after her arrival.
Because we still don't expect the same from fathers as we do from mothers. I mean, when we get to the point when we judge mothers for eating lunch... too far, maybe?