Wonder Woman opens across the country on June 2, and it looks like it's going to be a red-hot scorcher. Women everywhere are especially pumped to finally get a female-led, female-directed superhero movie (thank you, DC Universe). Some movie theaters have been capitalizing on the mania, offering women-only screenings of the movie to those who have been waiting all their lives for this moment. Which naturally got the fanboys' panties in a knot. For all those men complaining about the state of affairs out there, I give you Exhibit A: the Austin mayor's killer response to a Wonder Woman screening complaint.
It seems the Alamo Drafthouse took it upon themselves to kindly offer women (and those who identify as women) a safe space for a little Wonder Woman love. Disgruntled, one man decided to take it all the way to the mayor's office. The man wrote a ridiculous email to Mayor Steve Adler, rife with so many gender stereotypes and mysoginistic untruths one might think he was punking us all. To the man in question, who will go unnamed: if you are punking us, now is the time to fess up. Here is an especially juicy snippet from the email:
The notion of a woman hero is a fine example of women's eagerness to accept the appearance of achievement without actual achievement. Women learn from an early age to value make-up, that it's OK to pretend that you are greater than you actually are. Women pretend they do not know that only men serve in combat because they are content to have an easier ride. Women gladly accept gold medals at the Olympics for coming in 10th and competing only against the second class of athletes. Name something invented by a woman! Achievements by the second rate gender pale in comparison to virtually everything great in human history was accomplished by men, not women. If Austin does not host a men only counter event, I will never visit Austin and will welcome it's deterioration.
OK, breathe everyone. Take a moment. And get ready for Mayor Adler's response.
Despite the fact that Adler was instructed not to bother responding, he's apparently a real rebel and decided to offer a beautiful, eloquent smackdown on June 1... and naturally shared it with the world.
Dear Mr. ____,
I am writing to alert you that your email account has been hacked by an unfortunate and unusually hostile individual. Please remedy your account's security right away, lest this person's uninformed and sexist rantings give you a bad name. After all, we men have to look out for each other!
Can you imagine if someone thought that you didn't know women could serve in our combat units now without exclusion? What if someone thought you didn't know that women invented medical syringes, life rafts, fire escapes, central and solar heating, a war-time communications system for radio-controlling torpedoes that laid the technological foundations for everything from Wi-Fi to GPS, and beer? And I hesitate to imagine how embarrassed you'd be if someone thought you were upset that a private business was realizing a business opportunity by reserving one screening this weekend for women to see a superhero movie.
You and I are serious men of substance with little time for the delicate sensitivities displayed by the pitiful creature who maligned your good name and sterling character by writing that abysmal email. I trust the news that your email account has been hacked does not cause you undue alarm and wish you well in securing your account. And in the future, should your travels take you to Austin, please know that everyone is welcome here, even people like those who wrote that email whose views are an embarrassment to modernity, decency, and common sense.
Mic drop. Done. That should be the last of the petty complaints over a women-only screening of Wonder Woman. Because honestly, fanboys, did you learn nothing from the Ghostbusters reboot debacle?
This is why we can't have nice things.