Have you ever been at a party and someone comes up to you and starts to tell you about the dream they had last night and it's the worst thing ever? The thing is that adult dreams are just sort of weird and not that interesting to hear about, especially at parties where you are apparently supposed to be having fun. This is not the case with toddlers. Children's dreams are pretty great to hear about, especially if that child is Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's adorable daughter Luna because that 3-year-old is perhaps my favorite part of the internet right now. On Tuesday night, Teigen shared a video of Luna telling a wild story about a "Witch Baby" and boy can that kid think on her feet. Especially when her story takes a turn even she doesn't look like she expected.
Teigen shared a recent video chat she had with her daughter. It seems as though Teigen was perhaps out of town for the night and wanted to check in to find out how her little girl slept. Seems innocuous enough, right? Not if you are the oldest child of Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.
Luna has clearly has the entertainment gene in her bones from her cookbook author mother and EGOT-winning dad... she had a captivated audience giving her the floor in that moment, and she wasn't going to let it go to waste. Enter the story of the "Witch Baby."
It turns out Luna had a pretty rough night of sleep on account of this dream where she had a witch chasing her. This witch finally caught Luna and flew away with her, because apparently "her babies got to eat," although I'm really hoping they weren't planning on eating Luna.
Don't worry though, guys, Luna had a solution to deal with that hungry witch baby. "Then I kicked the witch baby," she told her mama.
Luna said this with a disturbingly happy smile until her mom gasped and then Luna seemed to rethink this solution. It seems kicking babies is sort of frowned upon in the Teigen/Legend household. That smile slowly slid off Luna's face as she tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for baby-kicking in her dream.
And good news everyone: We find out in Part Two that the witch can fix her babies "because she was too strong." But the violence doesn't end there, folks. As Luna explained, "Suddenly I picked up a water bottle and kicked her with a stick."
Always a great idea to have two weapons against witch babies. But the real secret weapon turned out to be Luna's hidden wardrobe, as she explained to her mother: "Then I put my fairy wings on and my crown and my wand and my prettiest dress and then I fly to [some place I didn't quite catch after multiple viewings, maybe it's a secret] with my magic wand."
The reality is that little kids often are working some stuff out in their dreams, as Zero To Three explains, so it makes sense that these stories make no sense. The twists and turns, the confusing violence, the heroic ending. All I can say is this: If Luna suddenly starts to call her 1-year-old brother Miles "Witch Baby," people should be on high alert for potential kicking hazards.