Fanny Pack Crocs Are Here, Whether We Like It Or Not

It has come to this, y’all. Arguably the world’s most "unique" shoe (in my opinion) just became even more unique — if you can believe it. If Steve Urkel were a shoe, he’d be these new fanny pack Crocs. Two very, um, “unique” styles come together in this supposedly multifunctional shoe. These comfortable and practical shoes just became even more practical. According to Parents, Crocs paired up with the Japanese apparel brand Beams to create these different — at the very least — shoes. And here I thought Crocs couldn’t get any more dad-looking, but then they clearly said, “Hold my beer.”

This “unholy marriage” as Business Insider’s tweet puts it is officially named the “Pocket Croc,” and they’re going for about $53 on the Beams website. They come in two different colors: purple with teal fanny packs, or teal with purple fanny packs. And you can even get little gems to put in the signature Croc holes, like those charms people got for their kids’ Crocs. However the little fanny pack on each of the Crocs' straps — which each say “Beams” and “Crocs,” respectively — are pretty tiny, so I’m not sure what exactly would fit in them. They’re definitely too small for a cell phone, but perhaps you could fit quarter in there? Although I’m not sure why you would need to, as there are no pay phones anymore. Maybe kids could put knick knacks in them since they’re usually the ones who are wearing Crocs — unless you’re a chef or line cook. Then I can see why you may want to wear Crocs. Maybe. Guys, I'm trying to justify this here.

Beam's

Even still, folks are torn over these crazy shoes all over social media, including Twitter. Some think they’re a riot and believe they’d be functional, and others are pretty offended.

Also, let’s look and appreciate the shoe “model’s” outfit in the above tweet. We have shorts, white crew socks and those fabulous Crocs. Perfect. And exactly how I would picture someone wearing these fanny pack Crocs. I hope they also have on a visor.

Clearly, Crocs knows its demographic and how their shoes are typically viewed as a novelty, and the company is definitely leaning into their ridiculousness yet again. According to a CNN article, they’re a perfect throwback shoe, because the author mentioned how their dad used to use “little neon nylon key pouches” on his running shoes when he’d go jogging in his New Balances. Aha! So I guess people could put keys in them. However, I think I’d be too nervous to keep keys in a pouch on my foot. I’d rather safely keep them in my pocket or a purse, thank you very much.

If you're stoked about these new Crocs, you do you. Who am I to judge? I wish Jncos and babydoll t-shirts would come back. And you bet I'd totally wear them. Maybe fanny packs were your jam in the '80s and '90s. If so, head on over to the Beams website and pick you up a pair for only $53. Don't forget the color-coordinating teal and purple jewels to put in the Croc holes.