You just gave birth to a baby and are adjusting to your new role as a mom, when the doctor gives you the green light to get it on. For some moms this may be a welcomed activity, but others may find the thought of post-pregnancy sex absolutely terrifying or have a low sex drive after giving birth. If you fall into the latter, don’t worry — you’re not alone. A study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 21.9 percent of women wait three or more months before having sex after baby, and 21.1 percent admitted that their sex life took a dive once baby arrived.
It’s easy to understand why sex is the last thing on a new mom’s mind. Settling into this new role, while exciting, is extremely exhausting. You’re now prioritizing diaper duty and sleep schedules above your own needs. And you’re not the only one feeling this change. Your partner may just be as lackluster about sex as you are. Male hormones are also out of whack when a new baby arrives, Specifically, Women’s Day noted that there is an increase in vasopressin, a hormone that helps men connect with children while simultaneously decreasing their sex drive. Chances are that sex is the last thing on their mind, too.
There are also a few biological reasons for your lack of friskyness. Breastfeeding moms experience an increase in prolactin, the hormone responsible for producing milk. This in turns decreases the amount of estrogen released, which is the hormone responsible for your libido, according to Parents. Lowered estrogen can also cause vaginal dryness which definitely doesn’t help your desire to get down. Add to that all of your fluctuating hormones, your childbirth recovery, and potential postpartum body image issues, and it’s no wonder you’d rather sleep in bed then screw around in it. But it helps to remember that sex is a major stress reliever, and can be beneficial for you and your partner. So if you’re looking to increase your sex drive, here are a few things to try when you’re ready.
Not only does exercise release those feel-good endorphins, Health notes that it also increases blood flow to your entire body, including your vagina. Heightened sensitivity down there can make you feel ready to get it on beneath the sheets (or on top if you’re so inclined.)
Focus on Intimacy
If you want to connect with your partner, you don’t have to have sex. Being intimate can mean planning a date night or spending some quality time together talking about something other than your adorable baby.
Wear Something Sexy
Take it from me, you’re never going to feel like getting it on if you’ve been wearing the same milk-stained nursing tank for three days. Trade in those pajamas for something that will make you feel like a hot mama. Go all out with fishnets and garter belts, be modest in a lacy bra and thong, or just slip into your favorite dress. Whatever outfit will make you feel like slipping underneath the sheets.