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How Sex Changes For Your Partner After Having A Baby

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It's no secret that sex changes after having a baby, but that's from a mom's point of view. How sex changes for your partner after having a baby matters, too, and in some ways, it may be totally different for them than it is for you.

Sex may not feel physically different to your partner, but there could be some emotional changes after you've had a baby. According to Men's Health, most of sex after baby is a waiting game for your partner. Because they didn't endure pregnancy and delivery, they have to wait for you to give the green light on sex. They need to know that you're ready to try, that you're fully healed, and that you're looking forward to it. And that waiting game? It can be hard for your partner, but not just because they want to be intimate with you — it can feel like everything in your lives has changed. (It has, and that's nothing to feel guilty about.)

Parenting noted that while you're falling in love with your new baby, so is your partner. They are bonding and adjusting to parenthood just like you are and that can mean a huge shift in the intimacy you two once shared. It's no longer just the two of you — there's another little person there, changing up the game, and giving your partner an identity crisis just as much as you.

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The stereotype is that while you're avoiding sex and hoping for extra sleep, your partner is going crazy waiting on you to tell them you're ready. But that's not always the case. According to The New York Times, a man's sex drive can take a dip after childbirth, too. Their testosterone levels drop and can become even lower if they spend more than three hours a day caring for their children. (Biology is super weird, right?) So to your partner, sex after having a baby may not even be on their priority list — they may be just as excited for sleep and Netflix binges as you are.

Just like sex can vary from woman to woman after childbirth, it can change for your partner depending on how they feel about it, their ideas of sex, and what they want. The important thing is to remember communication and to keep the lines open between you and your partner. You can't help them (and they can't help you) if neither one of you know where the other stands. Your SO may be ready to get it on immediately (you'll have to teach them the art of patience) or they may feel trepidation about hitting the sheets after becoming a parent, too. No matter what, it's totally normal, and warrants a conversation and an improved effort to keep the intimacy between you two strong.