A lot of people are wary about co-sleeping. With infant sleep guidelines out there saying it's safer for your baby to sleep in a bed separate from you, it makes sense that there's some trepidation surrounding it. But there's another reason many shy away from co-sleeping — sex. If you aren't sure how to still have sex if you're co-sleeping, I get it. Combining the two ideas can seem really strange and make you feel like it will never work. But all it takes is a little creativity and a little effort to keep your sex life alive while you're co-sleeping.
And no, I don't mean creativity as in trying to get it on with your little one next to you. But who says the bed is the only place you can have sex? Attachment Parenting International noted that co-sleeping is good for your children and sex is good for your relationship, but you don't have to choose between the two. You can find other places in the house to have sex, you can put your baby in a bassinet during a nap so that you can have the bed, and you can schedule your sexy time by having a babysitter or grandparent get some quality time in with your kiddo.
Basically? You have to put some effort into your sex life if you're co-sleeping — that's how you make it work. And it could be even more beneficial for your relationship than you think. According to Women's Health, having sex outside of the bedroom means you can become closer to your partner, discover more of what turns both of you on, and make you feel sexually empowered. It becomes more of a thing you really want to do than a thing you're doing just because your partner is laying next to you in bed. Imagine the end of the night when you're exhausted and you want to get it on, but your kid's in the way. Instead of saying forget it and rolling over, the two of you sneak out, walk around your house, and find a new place specifically so you two can get it on. Maybe it's the couch, the floor, or the basement. Either way, it's something you two have decided on so that you can have sex and that's pretty damn hot.
Think you'll be to exhausted to put in the effort for sex? I doubt it. According to Kelly Mom, co-sleeping moms generally get more sleep than moms who don't co-sleep because your baby is sleeping better and you don't have to get up and walk around the house every time your little one cries out. So use that newfound energy to have sex with your partner. Make naps mandatory for your kid, but use that time to get it on with your SO. You can find little moments during the day to take advantage of being alone and then? Bed time is just that — bed time. Nighttime no longer has to be sexy time (it can be, of course). You can look forward to just sleeping at night, knowing that you had some amazing sex at 3 p.m. against the kitchen counter that day.
If sex is still the last thing on your mind and your interest continues to wane, it might be worth looking at other factors. If not having a bed to yourself at night is really the hold-up, a counselor can help. But Attachment Parenting International noted that other factors, like breastfeeding, hormones, exhaustion, changes to your body, and parenthood can also affect your sex life. Get the bigger picture before you chalk up all of your sex issues to co-sleeping — it's not a huge obstacle to overcome in your sex life.
