Although no one can perfectly predict the future, plenty of people wonder how long they're going to be with a certain significant other. Will this romance fizzle out in the next month or so, or is it going to last for the rest of your lives? Well, if your partner says these certain things, then it already means they think of you as a teammate for life. And for most people, that's a wonderful sign about what's to come.
People have been trying to figure out what makes a relationship last for about as long as there have been people. But as it turns out, there's no magic trick to making love last. Sometimes it just comes down to work. "Another secret for a long marriage: Both partners need to commit to making it work, no matter what. The only thing that can break up a relationship are the partners themselves," said Kelly Campbell, Ph.D, associate professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, in Greatist. Although there might not be any great love songs about working on your relationship, it's still the foundation for so much success. Keep this in mind as you review the signs your partner is in it for the long haul. It'll take effort from both of you, but a lasting, healthy relationship is worth the work.
1. "I knew you could do it."
Ideally, each partner will be the other's biggest cheerleader. "Research bears out a factor I have witnessed: that couples able to truly root for their partner to triumph often emerge triumphant in their relationships," wrote Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, in Psycom. If your S.O. is legitimately thrilled when you get accepted to grad school or run a 5K in record time, then you're probably in great shape.
2. "Have fun with your friends!"
The best couples aren't glued at the hip 24/7. In fact, it's a great sign if you each have your own lives. "We not only benefit from some extra-relational friendships, we also need time for solitude and alone time," said counseling professor Dr. Suzanne Degges-White in Cosmopolitan. A balanced life together, in which you aren't dependent one one another for every need, is ideal.
3. "Hey, want some help?"
A partner who pitches in when you need a little help is irreplaceable. Plus, it's a solid sign of love when your significant other helps you out, according to Psychology Today. Oh, and if your partner helps you move to a new place, then that's major. Moving day help is extra-worthwhile.
4. "Wow, we are just alike."
The old saying that opposites attract isn't necessarily true for long-term couples. In fact, partners who have similar goals, values, and even leisure activities tend to last longer, according to Psychology Today. It helps when you're both headed in the same direction.
5. "Thank you."
It isn't just about being polite. "We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last," said associate professor Ted Futris in EurekAlert! Futris co-authored a study about the role of gratitude in marital relationships published in the journal Personal Relationships. Spoiler alert: expressing gratitude is super important.
6. "Well, what do you think?"
If you value one another's opinion, then this is great news. "Problem-solving as a unit is exhilarating when you appreciate and respect the perspective and ideas that each person brings to the table," said New York Times best-selling author Amiira Ruotola in Business Insider. She co-wrote How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking with spouse Greg Behrendt.
7. "I'd rather hang out with you."
It's pretty important that you and your S.O. actually enjoy spending time together, and that you prioritize this time. "Couples thrive when there is time for connection, and they fall apart when getting things done consistently has a higher priority than connection," said relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D. in Mind Body Green. Sometimes, all that stuff on your to-do list can wait. Getting in some quality time with your S.O. is more important.