Episiotomy or not, just about every doctor and medically-backed article you come across will strongly suggest waiting four to six weeks to restart your sex life after giving birth. But once you get the go ahead to start having sex again, you may question what type of sex is OK. "Is tantric sex safe after an episiotomy?" is just one specific question couples may ask about, and for a few reasons.
Just in case you're wondering what an episiotomy is, Mayo Clinic defined it as an incision made between the vagina and anus during birth. It used to be a fairly common procedure used to reduce risk of tearing during birth, but modern studies show it doesn't actually have much of an impact, and that natural tearing may be healthier and safer than episiotomy. So, luckily, an episiotomy is much more rare and generally only used when a baby may be very large, according to Baby Center. Because it may make you little more sore postpartum, sex may seem scarier and it's OK to wonder what's safe and what's not.
For those women who do have an episiotomy during birth, one of the primary reasons you might start thinking about tantric sex down the road is because tantric sex is actually more about mentality than technique or length. Some people have the misconception, thanks to Sting, that tantric sex means having sex for hours or days at a time, according to She Knows. In actuality, tantric sex focuses on being mentally stimulated and forming a connection with your partner. Because the foundation for tantric sex is based around a mental connection, it may actually be a more physically comfortable avenue to start with when you're taking your sex life off pause. Especially after an episiotomy when you may be more concerned, dry, or sore than before.
In an interview with Romper, licensed marriage and family therapist Holly Hemphill said that the longer you've gone without being intimate, the more difficult or awkward it may be trying to bring sex back into the relationship. Using tantric sex to connect on a deeper level may be a way to help break that barrier. With the potential fear hanging overhead of an episiotomy affecting how sex may feel, tantric sex could help create a smoother, slower transition into being physical again.
In short, tantric sex is safe after an episiotomy once you've been given the OK to have sex again. You can even look into the idea of tantric sex without penetration if you want to connect on a sexual level before you've fully healed or just aren't comfortable yet, according to All About Tantra. Having an episiotomy doesn't mean your sex life postpartum will be any different than someone who hasn't had the procedure. If you're concerned, however, it's always a good idea to talk with your doctor to put your mind at ease.