Having a messy house is a very, very common problem, especially when you're a mom. Kids love to leave a mess in their wake, no matter how old they are or how hard their parents try to clean it up. Now imagine if you had a group of fans and critics staring at and criticizing your home. As the mom of young boys, Jessa Duggar Seewald knows this entirely too well. And after people saw her home on Instagram, Duggar is speaking out after getting shamed for having a dirty home and she has every right to do so.
Seewald is a mom of two young boys under the age of 2 — 1-year-old Spurgeon and 8-month-old Henry — whom she shares with husband Ben Seewald. Being a mom isn't easy, let alone with two children who are so young. There is so much that Duggar has to do, not only for her children, but herself. The last thing she is probably concerned about is keeping her home spotless for the cameras.
And Duggar knows what it's like to grow up with cameras (and eyes) on her. As a star of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and spin-off show, Counting On, Duggar has accumulated an audience of 2 million Instagram followers. So when Duggar posted a photo of her messy home on Instagram, those followers were quick to judge.
Two days after posting the photos of her home, Duggar had to go back to Instagram and Facebook to speak out about the shame she received for being honest with her fans about her life.
Duggar wrote in a post on Facebook that her intention of showing her home, behind the facade of her Instagram photos, was to highlight the importance of spending quality time with her kids. "I could have waited 24 hours and posted pics of everything freshly cleaned and looking beautiful," Duggar wrote. "Certainly people would find no fault with that...but many may find fault with themselves. I don't do that for a reason. Reality."
The point was my heart's goal to devote undivided time and attention to my kids — to make memories together each day, no matter what else I have on my schedule. It's all to easy for me to want to turn on Baby Einstein and get back to my project, and while that might be fine and necessary at times, it can't replace pausing for moments here and there to give them a mama's loving, playful, teaching, and engaging interaction.
In the original Instagram post, Duggar shows pictures of her laundry pile, a dusty side table, a pile of dirty diapers on her dresser, and finger prints on her windows. Any mom (or person who has lived with roommates) can take a look at these photos and relate. Messes of this size happen.
In the post's caption, Duggar's message is clear — regardless of the mess you may have in your life, making memories is the most important thing. "Just remember, whatever projects are pulling at your time and attention today, don't forget to make time for the people around you," Duggar wrote. "These are the memories that will last forever."
But Instagram commenters didn't get the message. Instead, they were more concerned about the photos and the mess, calling Duggar lazy for not cleaning her home. "No m'am. You had ONE job," one commenter wrote.
"This is so disgusting. You spend the most time in your home. Take pride in it and take care of it," another commenter said.
Instead of jumping down Duggar's throat, people could try to understand where she is coming from. Duggar herself has said that being a mom is a struggle. In a YouTube video, shared to TLC's account in July, Duggar talked about adjusting to living in a house with two young boys, saying:
I kind of expected it to be a challenge going from one to two kids. I feel like every day is different. Some days it's very very simple... other days it's a little more chaotic.
Seewald even opened up about the boys' mess, telling the cameras:
Since Henry's birth, things have been a little more busy in the Seewald house. One adjustment going from one child to two is there are so many diapers and they pile up so fast. We gotta take the trash out more often.
This is not the first time that Duggar has been mom-shamed, let alone the first time in the past week. Just a few days ago, Instagram commenters were upset that baby Henry had been barefoot outside, even though the weather had been warm and letting babies go barefoot is completely OK, as a podiatrist told The Guardian. It honestly seems like Duggar's Instagram followers will criticize her for anything.
But Duggar is, and always has been, transparent with her fans. And her honesty about her not so perfect home and making her children her number one priority should be admired.
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