It's no secret that Michelle Duggar is her husband Jim Bob Duggar's number one fan. The former reality star and mother of 19 kids has publicly subscribed to a very old-fashioned lens into marriage. And she's always happy to share any advice she might have for staying happy in a relationship with her ever-present smile and unabashed loyalty to her husband. These relationship quotes from Michelle Duggar provide a glimpse into her views about her own marriage, as well as the sort of marriage she would like for her own children.
Michelle, Jim Bob, and their large brood from Little Rock, Arkansas first came into the public eye when they starred on TLC's 19 Kids & Counting in 2008. These days, the second generation of Duggars has taken the network (and social media) by storm with their own show, Counting On, which follows the lives of Jessa, Jinger, Joy-Anna, Joe, and Jill as well as their spouses and growing families. Each of the Duggar daughters, with the possible exception of the pants-wearing Jinger Vuolo, seems to have fallen in line with Michelle and Jim Bob's rules for relationship expectations. The girls all wear long skirts and modest tops. They marry young, and generally get to the business of birthing babies pretty quickly. Which must suit mom Michelle Duggar just fine.
Michelle believes that, even if you're tired, you should be giving your man sex whenever he needs it. In her blog she quoted that marriage advice she got from a friend back in 1984 that she still lives by today:
Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it. You’re the only one. So don’t forget that, that he needs you. So when you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don’t forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need.
She told TODAY Moms that having sex whenever her husband wants it has been a "lifesaver" in their marriage. And she shared that advice with her daughters as well.
That being said, Michelle reported to TODAY Moms that she is allowed to give it a rest sometimes. When she's having her period, for instance, or when she's just had a baby (she gets 80 days off for a girl and 40 off for a boy).
Cherish Your Partner
Before you go thinking that it's all one-sided in the Duggar household, Michelle wrote in her blog that she always feels cherished by her husband:
He'll lay down his life in any way. He will sit there and listen to everything I need to tell him because he knows that I’m there for him, too. I’m meeting his needs, he’s meeting my needs. We’re willing to be there for each other. And each one of us has different needs in a marriage relationship and that’s what’s so precious.
Husband First, Kids Second
Michelle obviously loves her children, but here is the advice she gives her daughters when they're getting married; you are a wife first and a mother second, according to her blog. She wrote that she was preparing to tell daughter Jill in 2015 before she married husband Derick Dillard:
I’ll share this advice with Jill so she knows that she’s got to be a wife first and then later, Lord willing, she’ll be a mother. Her responsibility before God and Derick needs to come first. It’s not just me and the Lord; it’s me and the Lord and my husband.
Have you ever gotten into a fight with your partner in front of your kids? Or questioned them or corrected them? Well, Michelle Duggar would not be impressed, I'm afraid. She cautions against arguing in front of the children, or correcting your partner in any way, as she wrote on her blog:
Don’t ever talk about things in front of your children that are supposed to be between you and your husband only. Step aside and say we’re going to talk about this privately. And don’t ever put your husband down in front of your children or other people, especially your families. Talk privately. We always say in our family, we praise publicly, but we correct privately. And that’s marriage advice that I would give to anyone.
So there you have it, folks. Michelle Duggar's guide to a happy marriage. Take from it what you will.