Ah, mother's Day (which is on Sunday, don't forget). Here is what Mother's Day has meant to me as a mom of four sons: unlimited hugs on demand, no squirming allowed. Breakfast cooked to varying degrees of doneness, but with zealous enthusiasm. Homemade tissue flowers, picture frames and cards with pop-up hearts. I love Mother's Day — and why wouldn't I? I'm a mom, it's all about me that day. As much as I'd like to think it's all roses and hugs though, the holiday doesn't always turn out like that, nor does it always revolve around your accomplishments as World's Best Mom. In fact, the Internet's cleverest Mother's Day memes and jokes perfectly describe what the holiday is about on a real level.
I personally would like to think that we show our moms love every chance we get, and not just on a special holiday. I like to think that people look genuinely forward to Mother's Day as a chance to show even more appreciation than normal to the woman who raised them, instead of just thinking, "Ugh, it's Mother's Day on Sunday. What should we get her?" (I'd really like to think that my kids are more like, "Do you think mom will like the sports car I bought her? Or that rare hybrid rose I created in a lab and named after her? Gee, I sure hope so," but that's probably just wishful thinking.)
Wouldn't that be a nice reality? Unfortunately, I think a realistic mother's day celebration looks a little more like this.
Brunch That Heals All Wounds
You haven't said "thank you" to your mom in months but hey, that strange brunch combo of smoked salmon, roast chicken, and pancakes should do the trick to make her forget. And you know what? It pretty much does.
Nothing says Mother's Day like a little last-minute panic.
The Real Meaning Of Joy
Moms are always there when you need them. Unless we're binge watching murder documentaries or old Gilmore Girls episodes on Netflix. Today's the day to celebrate that.
Congratulations On Your Accomplishments
How dare those other people even try to catch the ball, I ask you? Look at her! She is a real life Wonder Woman! The baby is even wearing a tiny helmet just in case she misses, I assume. Parenting win! If you or your mom can do this, then a happy round of applause this Mother's Day is in order. (Or, perhaps a round of cheap stadium beers.)
Recognizing The Ultimate Sacrifice
We don't pee, like, every time we sneeze. But I'm not going to lie to you ladies currently going through the pregnancy process... it happens more often than you would like. So call your mom this Mother's Day and remind her that you appreciate her sacrifice.
Letting Your Freak Flag Fly
Just because you are suddenly a mom, doesn't mean you can't still get your freak on in a hot little Sith Lord number, right? This Mother's Day, go all out. And I mean, all out. Added bonus: No make-up or hairstyling needed if you wear a Darth Vader helmet.
Guilt: It's What's for Dinner
I will be serving guilt with a heaping side dish of martyrdom for Thanksgiving this year if Mother's Day is forgotten. Just sayin'.
Even Weirder Gifts
At least this one has a beat to it.
Gifts No One Pays For
So remember to hang with your mom this Sunday for Mother's Day. Just, you know, get too hopped up on unrealistic expectations.