Nestle White Chip Lemon Cookie Dough Returns To Stores (For A Limited Time Only Because Toll House Likes To Toy With Our Emotions)

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As my period is right around the corner, I’m always on the lookout for something new to eat straight from the package while crying. So I was intrigued to learn about the return of this limited edition treat from Nestle Toll House: White Chip Lemon Cookie Dough. Nestlé of course does not condone eating raw egg product, and the directions for baking this pre-made dough are printed right there on the package. But as I am a lazy cliché of a female, I will def eat this raw while watching Real Housewives and shouting at my husband to stop breathing so loudly.

Toll House describes the dough as a “classic springtime twist” that combines “sophisticated white morsels with a hint of lemon.” Which actually sounds quite refreshing. More like the consumer is wearing delicate white gloves whilst sipping cucumber water, and not stuffing down cookies found in the same section of the grocery as cinnamon rolls in a can.

This zesty creation contains no artificial flavors and is free of preservatives. Which basically makes it a healthy snack. Like I may as well be eating an apple, no? Which is exactly what I will tell myself while jamming it into my face. This. Is. An. Apple.

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Also, for added laziness, it comes in one of those big pre-cut squares, so I totally won't even need a knife. I can just tear at it like the enraged, bloated animal that I am.

I must admit that normally I'm not a big fan of white chocolate. Like most sane humans, I always just kind of stare at it and wonder why someone went to the trouble of ruining regular chocolate. But...I am willing to give it a try when it is nestled in a bed of lemony sugar, because lemon treats I am definitely on board with. I'll scarf the top off a lemon poppy seed muffin faster than you can say, "Your teeth look like they've been dipped in gnats."

If one is feeling extra fancy, and plans to actually cook the dough, Toll House also offers a recipe for crafting Lemon White Chip Cookie Bars. And might I also suggest maybe molding the dough into a vague baby chick-like shape, then proudly serving it to the family as a special Easter dessert? Though that never really seems to work well, does it? Remember trying to make "one big cookie" as a kid? And then setting off the smoke alarm? #cookiememories

That hashtag just inspired me to check out Toll House's Twitter feed.

It's an interesting survey. Though I must say I find the results rather unsurprising. I think it might have been better phrased:

Let's settle this once and for all. Oatmeal raisin cookies are:

Gross?

or

Super gross?

But back to the White Chip Lemon Cookie Dough. Where in god's name can one find this magical golden concoction? Nestled in a ray of sunshine? Tucked inside a fairy's velvet boots? Or hidden in my refrigerator under the turkey pepperoni where my husband can't find it and eat it before me?

It shall be available at select stores. Specifically Kroger, Hy-Vee, Albertsons, and the Safeway. And if the local grocer doesn't carry it, let us band together as sisters and storm the gates of the House of Toll.

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