Hey! That wasn't nice! We all have our sore spots — the words and deeds that can send us into a tailspin of crying, pouting, and reaching for a pint of Talenti gelato to ease our pain. But the things that wound one person deeply may roll off another person's back, and vice versa. Why are our emotional triggers so different? Nature and nurture certainly play a part, but our
zodiac signs may also determine what hurts us most.
Astrologers believe that our personalities, preferences, and flaws are guided by the position of the planets on the day we were born. Our sun signs (the zodiac most of us are familiar with) represent the self we show to the world, though there are other planetary factors that make up our individual charts. The sun signs have clearly defined traits — you'd never confuse an Aries with a Virgo — and each sign has its own motivations, goals, and Achilles' heels.
Are you the names-will-never-hurt-me type, or the how-could-you-say-that type? Your answer might depend on which sign you are. Read on to see what to avoid saying and doing if you don't want to wound your Sagittarius sweetheart, Taurus child, or Pisces bestie.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Being told to slow down.
Aries are the first sign of the zodiac, and as such,
they love to lead the pack, explained Allure. They tend to jump into situations without thinking first, which can get them into trouble. But trying to curb their impulsiveness is like trying to tell the sun not to rise, and an Aries gets put out if you dare suggest that they take it easy. Being lied to.
Aries folks are straightforward and honest, and they don't understand why everyone can't be the same way.
Deceive them at your own risk, cautioned Astrology Cosmos; the Ram's fierce temper masks their hurt feelings, and you may find yourself the target of a Facebook rant or Twitterstorm. Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) Being fake.
Tauruses are sincere as the day is long, and they expect their nearest and dearest to be the same way.
If you're a phony, they'll spot it in a heartbeat, according to ZodiacFire. Then they'll nurse their hurt feelings while vowing never to have anything to do with you again. Making them hurry up. Don't call the Bull a slowpoke; they're just methodical, said AstroStyle. They want to make sure all the details are in place, whether it's a contract or a dinner outfit, before they move ahead. Rushing them before they're ready will just upset them and make them dig in their heels harder. Gemini (May 21-Jun 20) Insulting their intelligence.
Geminis are one of the quickest wits in the zodiac, and they're smart enough to know it, too. When anyone suggests otherwise, or even
says something like "That was dumb," it's like salt and lemon juice in Gemini's open wound. Telling them you're too busy. Gemini is the original social butterfly, always up for a get-together or a long chat about everything under the sun, said AstroStyle. Make yourself unavailable too many times, and they'll take it personally. Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22) Refusing their advice and chicken soup.
Cancers are the nurturers of the zodiac, and they love nothing more than helping their loved ones through any crisis from breakups to the flu. Sometimes
all that pampering can get to be a bit much, according to Astrostyle, but if you don't find a tactful way to ask them to back off, be prepared for the Crab's crestfallen look. Telling them they're too needy.
Sensitive and loving, Cancers thrive when they feel secure in their relationships. Sometimes they need a little too much reassurance that you care about them, but pushing them away is
the surest way to wound them deeply, said YourTango. Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) Taking advantage of their good nature.
Leos are loyal and generous, and they'll do just about anything for a friend, from taking on last-minute babysitting duties to loaning money. But if you start expecting your Lion pal to watch the kids every other evening, or keep hitting her up for a twenty without paying her back,
she'll feel rightfully put-upon and start snarling, explained ZodiacFire. Ignoring them.
The Lion's natural love of the spotlight means that they like to take a starring role in the lives of all their fam.
Being ignored is one of their biggest pet peeves, per YourTango. Stop returning their texts or liking their Instagram posts, and they'll stay up nights wondering why. Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) Trashing their space.
Even people who don't know much about astrology know that
Virgo is hyper-organized and values neatness, per ZodiacFire. If you're invited over to a Virgo's place for drinks or brunch, don't insult them by leaving your dirty dishes on the coffee table or not re-folding the guest towels in the bathroom. Where were you brought up, anyway? Being rude to them.
If you disagree with your Virgo friend, do it politely.
Being yelled or snarked at is one of their biggest hot buttons, explained YourTango. Virgs has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that not everyone is as civil as they are, and any reminder of this is like a slap in the face. Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) Treating them unfairly.
As you would expect from a zodiac sign named for the scales of justice,
Libra can't stand any kind of unjust treatment, said YourTango. Pass them over for the promotion they deserve, or ask them to chip in equally for the group lunch when all they had was the side salad, and they'll stand up for their rights. Hating on their friends.
Libra gets along with just about everyone, and they want their loved ones to get along, too. When you say
you don't like a Libra's friends, it's as hurtful as if you said you didn't like them, added YourTango. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Lying to them. A Scorpio is "a human lie detector," explained Astrology Cosmos, and they not only can tell when you're trying to put one over on them, they're not likely to forgive you anytime soon. No one holds a grudge like a Scorpion. Blabbing their secrets. Scorpios are guarded and secretive by nature, according to Astrostyle, and they appreciate the importance of keeping a confidence. Tell your Scorpio BFF a secret, and you know it'll stay under lock and key. Tell someone else that she's had a little work done, and you can kiss the friendship goodbye. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Tell them their joke wasn't funny. Sagittarius's sense of humor is legendary, and they love to leave everyone smiling, said Zodiac Fire. Being told they're not funny — or worse, boring — is like a knife to the heart. Don't give them a Christmas gift.
Zodiac Fire also noted that the
Archer hates folks that take all the time without giving anything in return. So if your Sag friend always remembers you on birthdays and holidays, you'd better return the kindness if you value that friendship. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Blocking them on Instagram.
Capricorns don't get offended easily, but one of the few things that gets under their skin is
being shunned by someone they're close to, per YourTango. Before you hit that "block" button on your social media settings, you'd better make sure you're ready to cut them out of your life for good. Backstabbing them.
The other sure way to hurt a Goat is
to betray them, said ZodiacFire. If you have a Capricorn work pal, you'd better not take credit for her work or gossip about her personal life with the rest of the office, unless you want an enemy for life. When a Capricorn is hurt, their anger is ice-cold. Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Comparing them to someone else.
Unique, individual, the different-drummer type, even a bit eccentric... Aquarius is all that and more. But try to
tell them that they're "just like" a parent, sibling, or someone they consider dull, and you'll be met with stunned silence, according to YourTango. How could anyone possibly make a comparison like that? Not trying to understand them.
The Water Bearer's out-of-the-box ways can be a mystery to even their closest friends. But if you don't at least try to figure them out, then
Aquarius feels isolated and rejected, cautioned ZodiacFire. If you have an Aquarius in your life, make sure they know you adore them, quirks and all. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Dissing their artwork.
Pisceans love beauty and creativity, and many are inspired to try artistic pursuits themselves. If a Pisces asks your opinion of their painting, quilt or manuscript, choose your words carefully; Thought Catalog explained that the
Fish feel attacked when someone judges their work harshly. Telling them they're too emotional.
A Piscean feels things deeply, and they're the first ones to notice when you're having a down day. But calling them on their moodiness, or
saying they have too many issues, will just make them feel that much worse, said YourTango. After a very frustrating first birth experience, this Deaf mother wanted a change. Will the help of two Deaf doulas give the quality communication and birth experience this mom wants and deserves? Watch Episode Four of Romper's Doula Diaries, Season Two, below, and visit Bustle Digital Group's YouTube page for more episodes.