When I was a kid, Pippi Longstocking was my favorite movie. I especially loved the part where the kids cleaned the house by securing brushes to their feet and skating around the house — not gonna lie, I totally did that with dusters after watching the movie, and my parents didn’t seem to mind one bit. I was having fun and the floors were getting clean? It sounded good to them. Now you don’t even have to wait until your kid’s old enough to skate around the house to use them to your advantage. This baby mop bodysuit is now available on Amazon, so your baby can have fun and clean your floors for you. And yes, this is a real product, y’all. Even if it’s considered a baby shower gag gift.
Depending on the size you purchase, this “genius invention” costs between $29.99 and $39.99, according to Amazon, and the sizes range from 3 months to 12 months old — and it’s actually pretty cute. How does it work exactly? It’s just a onesie with microfibers that will pick up dust and dirt with the soft little bristles while your baby scoots and crawls across the floor. And don’t worry, this isn’t child labor. They’d be crawling around anyway, right? Might as well make them useful.
According to the product description, “After the birth of a child, there's always the temptation to say, 'Yes, it's cute, but what can it do?' Until recently the answer was simply 'lie there and cry,’ but now babies can be put on the payroll, so to speak, almost as soon as they're born.” A harsh but true reality for some folks, I guess.
While some people are disturbed by the prospect, like one Amazon reviewer who said it’s disgusting to let your baby crawl around on a dusty floor and inhale dust, others praise the outfit, saying it’s “good clean fun,” and it’s a “hilarious gag gift for your pregnant friend.” Plus, isn’t this a great way to build up your baby’s immune system? I’m kidding, of course. And clearly, the naysayer didn't understand that this was a joke.
Pregnancy gag gifts seem to be pretty popular right now, and in addition to the mop onesie, you can purchase a Crib Dribbler for your pregnant friend. For only $7.50 on Amazon, the Crib Dribbler feeding system is like the water container you’d use for rodents in a cage. They claim to have been “giving babies independence since 1972.” Because it’s never too early to teach kids the hard lesson of taking care of yourself. One “reviewer” of the Crib Dribbler said, “I forgot I had a baby for six wonderful hours!” What a product. In all seriousness though, you can use the Crib Dribbler box to package your real gift, which I’m sure will be useful, thoughtful, and helpful, right?
Who needs a Roomba when you have a crawling baby? Grab this baby mop bodysuit on Amazon today, because teaching your baby the values of hard work, responsibilities, and chores at a young age is priceless. Plus it will be good practice for them to learn that cleaning can be fun, right? Once they’re old enough, maybe you can buy them some scrubbing brushes to attach to their feet and they can “skate” around the house like I did to clean it for Scrubbing Day. But depending on your friend, this may be the most hilarious baby shower gift ever — just make sure to purchase some other more useful items for her to use, too.
Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.