The Best "Says Who" Tweets Show Exactly Why Michael Cohen's Poll Argument Was Ridiculous
Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is losing in the polls. No, seriously, he really, really is. However, one lawyer for the Trump Organization isn't ready to give up the dream just yet. During an appearance on CNN to talk about a significant restructuring of strategists and advisors in the upper echelons of the campaign (which was announced Wednesday precisely because his boss is getting whupped), Michael Cohen contested that point with a recalcitrant, hilarious, but ultimately a little bit sad "Says who?" aimed at the program's host. It was the grownup (??) equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?" and the best "says who?" reaction tweets show exactly why Trump's campaign isn't in the best place.
It all started when CNN's Brianna Keilar observed in a comment to Cohen that "you guys are down" — Keilar, as a side note, was preparing to ask a question about the Trump campaign's decision to hire Steve Bannon, head of the conservative populist site Breitbart News, as CEO, as well as replace Paul Manafort with a new campaign manager. "Says who?" Cohen demanded in response. "Says who?"
At this point, CNN viewers were essentially already witnessing the birth of a meme, but an irate Cohen was just getting started. Keilar dutifully reminded Cohen that, actually, the polls indicate that the Trump cause lurching along behind a much stronger candidate, Democrat and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
"Says who?" Donald Trump aide Michael Cohen questions polls that show the businessman trailing Hillary Clinton https://t.co/Ri6l5akJEC— CNN (@CNN) August 17, 2016
But Cohen was, apparently, feeling obstinate, incredulous, hurt, and confused. How could the dishonest media propagate these unfounded lies about his Donald? "Says who?" he pressed. "Polls," Keilar said. "I just told you. I answered your question."
But Cohen needed to know. "OK. Which polls?" he asked. And Keilar delivered the ultimate blow, the one that would wound but not defeat Michael Cohen: "All of them."
And it's true (sorry, Mike!). Literally all of the polls released throughout the past three weeks report that Clinton has a serious lead over Trump. According to a HuffPost pollster average, he's down about 9 percentage points across the board. And Cohen's commentary and apparent ignorance probably aren't helping — unless there are bonus points to be had when you and your people become an internet joke (again)...
"And then he said, 'says who!'" pic.twitter.com/mkqlu0T5Cn— Jason Sparks (@sparksjls) August 17, 2016
...Or if you gain voters when it gets personal:
“You’re losing money on your casino.”— David Frum (@davidfrum) August 17, 2016
“People hate your steaks.”
“Bondholders expect to be repaid.”
Knock knock jokes won't mend a dying campaign, but they can be chicken soup for the lawyer's soul, if you squint a little:
*walks up to Michael Cohen's door*— (((Danielle))) (@abradacabla) August 17, 2016
"THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."
knock knock— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) August 17, 2016
all the polls.
And for when you finally decide to acknowledge the gravity of the situation, there will always be more "says who?" jokes to be had:
who let the dogs out— yung sheriff star (@mdnsk) August 17, 2016
"harambe is dead, man"— Jose(ph) Jr. (@joebe4rd) August 17, 2016
And even when November's got you like...
...remember the memes.
The Trump campaign encapsulates so much — racism, misogyny, demagoguery, a casual incitement to assassinate the competition — so, yes, it's dynamic. But it's also the quintessential picture of what losing looks like right now. Says who? The polls. All of them.