Whether you’ve been trying for years, or it’s a sudden surprise, there’s always the big question at the very beginning of pregnancy: Who all should you tell and when? Of course, most people want to tell their partners right away, but what about your mom or the rest of your family? What about close friends and social media? It's easy to wonder if there's some kind of etiquette to this situation, so what is the best way to announce your pregnancy to your family, no matter your situation?
And the answer, my friends, is simple: There is no single “best way” to announce your pregnancy. The “best” way is your way — however, whenever, and to whomever the hell you and your partner decide. Whether you want to tell people in-person individually, or get it out in full blast via a Facebook post for the whole world to see, the best way to announce your pregnancy depends on your comfort levels when it comes to privacy — and whether you want a ton of unsolicited advice or remarks from people you haven't spoken to since high school.
It also depends on your family dynamic. Will your aunts, uncles, siblings, and grandparents be super offended you didn't give them a phone call or tell them in person so they can give you a hug? Maybe you want to tell them before the rest of the world, especially if it's your own parents, so feelings are spared. I've found that, unfortunately, like other major life events, pregnancies, announcing pregnancies, and baby showers are a lot like planning a wedding. Everyone has an opinion and will get offended over things that aren't necessarily things to be offended over, and no matter what you want to do, sometimes people think families and their needs should come first.
Don't have it in the budget to hire a photographer to take photos for the big announcement? Don't even worry about it. There are many simple ways to announce your pregnancy on social media (if you choose to do so), and smartphone-quality photos are pretty great these days. And hey, if you just want to make a status that says, "Hi, guys. I'm pregnant," that's totally cool, too. It's really up to you. Your pregnancy, your rules.
Shutterfly and other companies like it are also good ways to use those pregnancy announcement photos (professional or not) if you'd rather tell people the old fashioned way than on social media. They typically run deals frequently and I'm sure one of your friends has a coupon lurking somewhere.
As far as when it's the best time to tell people, understandably, many women wait until at least after their 12 or 13-week milestone to tell people they’re pregnant because that's when the risk of miscarriage drastically decreases, according to the American Pregnancy Association. However, you may feel like it’s important to have people close to you know so you have a large support system if — heaven forbid — something awful does happen.
With that said, if you do want to keep it under wraps for a while, for whatever reason, be absolutely sure the people you do tell will keep it a secret — I’ve seen friends experience some stressful things from telling the wrong people.
A close friend of mine told her mom immediately after getting a positive test. My friend had been trying for a long time and was worried she and her husband were infertile, and her mom swore she wouldn’t tell a soul. And in her excitement (I guess), her mom started posting memes on Facebook and tagging her daughter in them about “being a parent soon,” and she had told all of the family. Soon everyone knew. My friend didn’t even get to share the news herself, because everyone who told "just one other person" also told them “not to tell anyone." It spread like wildfire from there. Insert eye roll emoji here.
And, if your partner’s parents and other relatives don't know yet, I would warn to make sure your SO is able to tell their family before you tell anyone who may spill the beans. Nothing would be worse than their parents finding out on Facebook from some random post instead of from them.
So whether you’re planning on telling the world as soon as you see two pink lines on that stick, or if you want to keep it a little fun and intimate secret, just between you and your partner, there is no right or wrong way to tell people. It depends on the couple, and their comfort levels. Just wait to tell people who will spill the beans before you're ready, because the last thing you need is stressing about a sh*t show in early pregnancy and having everyone in a fight. Plus, and it’s a very big plus, it’s you and your partner’s news to tell. So however that looks to you, go for it. There's no right or wrong way here.
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