If your loved ones are anything like mine, as soon as your first child is through the newborn phase, they will start asking when you’re going to have a second baby. At first, the answer was easy for me: “Not for a long time, please don’t ask me again until I’m not wearing the maternity clothes of this pregnancy and until I’m capable of changing a diaper in less than seven minutes and until I forget what labor and delivery was like.” But, as our son grew and as my partner and I got more and more comfortable with this whole parenting thing, I found myself asking the one question all grown-ass women ask themselves before deciding to have another baby, and suddenly the endless questions from family members and friends didn't phase me as much. I mean, I still wouldn’t answer it directly, but I wouldn't break out in hives, either.
Now, the concept of a second pregnancy doesn’t seem quite as impossible as it once did. Like, my readiness to endure pregnancy again (while still knowing and respecting the fact that every pregnancy is different), my understanding of labor, (ahem, while still knowing and respecting the fact that every labor is different), and what it’s like to bring home a newborn (again, while knowing and respecting the fact that every newborn is different) are all contributing to my feelings about it. While I am aware that predicting the future isn't something I can do, I do feel far more confident in my abilities as a mother now, than I did when I was preparing to have my first child. I've made some mistakes and learned some lessons and can say, with confidence, that I can handle a newborn baby.
So, all things considered, I’ve broken down this complicated decision into one simple question that every grown-ass woman should ask herself before adding another baby to the mix:
Am I, and is my family, as ready as possible for all that this second pregnancy entails?
It seems like a simple question (it is) but it is a weighted question that can spark numerous (not to mention, necessary) conversations. Here are just a few reasons why this question isn't only necessary, but a question that any grown-ass woman wouldn't keep from asking herself.