In my experience, labor and delivery sucks. I’m told, though, that some women don't consider it to be a big deal. In fact, they found it pleasant. Um, what? Am I, and every other women who had horrible labor experiences, cursed? Or is there some scientific reason why some people are able to cope with intense labor pain, while others beg for all the meds? For fun, I decided to check out my astrological profile to see if it shed some light on which moms-to-be hate labor and delivery the most. Turns out, the answer is in the stars, my friends. Go figure.
After consulting the astrological Zodiac signs, I must admit that I was surprised to learn that the universe be onto something. I’m a Cancer, and in addition to being the best sign of the Zodiac, us Cancers have a tendency to be a tiny bit over-dramatic. Now, I’m not saying that labor doesn’t hurt, because it totally does, but maybe that indescribable pain left me more miserable than I could have ever anticipated because I’m an "oh-so sensitive" Cancer. It's entirely possible, if you ask me. So I looked at all of the signs of the Zodiac to see if I might predict which other signs might hate labor and delivery just as much as I did.
If you are expecting a baby sometime in the near future, or you just want to see if the Zodiac is right about your labor experience, here's what the stars have to say about which moms-to-be are sure to absolutely hate labor and delivery the most.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
I'm sorry to say that if you're a pregnant Capricorn, you might be in for a terrible birth experience. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, people born under this sign are responsible and disciplined, but also unforgiving and have a tendency to expect the worst. The site lists their dislikes as "almost everything at some point," so you probably aren't going to have a good time contracting and whatnot. Worse, though, is the tendency for Capricorns to be more than a little bit controlling. They think they know the best way to do just about everything. When it comes to birth, though, things rarely go according to plan, which will mean a less than satisfactory experience.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Aries are passionate, enthusiastic, determined folks with a tendency to be impatient and aggressive. When it's time to deliver, you are likely to have a highly detailed birth plan full of really specific requests that are absolutely necessary for you to have your ideal birth experience. The thing about birth plans, though, is that they often fly right out the proverbial window. If you are a pregnant Aries, you might be better off going into childbirth knowing that it probably won't go as planned.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Reliable, patient, and stubborn, a Taurus will want their baby to come exactly on their due date, because they hate being late and always try to make sure everything goes according to plan. Labor and delivery rarely goes as planned, though, and the situation has a tendency to change suddenly. Unfortunately, plans falling through and sudden, unforeseen changes are things a stubborn Taurus absolutely hates.
Tauruses are also the sign most likely to rely on physical pleasure and creature comforts to feel good. In other words, ask for that blessed epidural as soon as humanly possible.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
According to Astrological Zodiac Signs, Geminis are gentle, affectionate, and friendly. But they absolutely hate "being alone, being confined, repetition, and routine," which pretty much describes giving birth in a hospital. They are one of the most social of the signs, so they are bound to become BFFs with every nurse who walks into the room,. But the minute they're told they have to stop moving, be monitored, or stop having fun, they absolutely aren't going to have a good time.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
As a Cancer, I have to admit that I am a little bit biased. I mean, clearly it's the best sign of the Zodiac. We are empathetic, nurturing, and super sensitive. That sensitivity does not come in handy during labor and delivery, though, when everything hurts and we feel like we are going to die. I mean, Cancers cry at commercials, so we most definitely get overwhelmed and emotional at the pain and uncertainty of labor and delivery.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgos are known for being the extremely shy sign of the Zodiac. One my biggest surprises about labor and delivery was how exposed I felt. I swear there was a never-ending parade of strangers coming in and out of my room, day and all night, to check my blood pressure, monitor my baby, and check my cervix. I am pretty sure more people saw and touched my naked ass in the 22 hours I was in labor than had in the entire 30 years prior. Don't be afraid to ask for some damn privacy, dear Virgo.
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