This Dad Of Four Tweets His Funny Conversations With His Kids, & They Are Incredible
One thing most people learn pretty quickly after becoming parents is that a sense of humor is key to not losing your entire mind — and that only becomes more apparent with each subsequent child added to your brood. Parenting is chaotic, messy, hilarious business, and honestly, there are plenty of days I feel like if I don't laugh at myself, I'll probably cry. But at least I'm not the only one: this dad of four tweets his conversations with his kids, and even though his posts are spot-on funny, they're also incredibly relatable. In an interview with Us Weekly, Indiana-based web comic James Breakwell explained Tuesday that four years of tweeting about the conversations he's had with his daughters (who range in age from 5 to five months) helps him deal with the craziness of fatherhood. And, judging by his 397,000 Twitter followers, his particular brand of humor mixed with brutal honesty is something that a lot of parents seem to appreciate.
Breakwell told Us Weekly:
But diaper blowouts aren't the only thing Breakwell and his girls discuss. Post topics have included everything from puberty, to Star Wars, and even dad's cooking skills.
Me: Time for breakfast.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 15, 2016
5-year-old: Wow, Dad, you didn't burn it as much as usual.
Her current passive aggressiveness level is wife.
Toddler: *spills an entire bowl of popcorn and then eats it off the floor*— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016
5-year-old: Stop it!
Me: Let her go. I don't want to vacuum.
Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016
5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.
I'm never sleeping again.
5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2015
Me: I helped
Me: I read her the instructions
How do Breakwell's kids feel about being Twitter-famous thanks to their dad's tweets? He told BuzzFeed, "they like what I do on Twitter mainly because it’s all about them." His wife on the other hand? She's not quite as enthusiastic about her husband's oversharing.
Wife: Not everything we say in this house belongs on Twitter.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 4, 2016
Me: I understand.
Wife: Are you tweeting this right now?
But the good news is, Breakwell's posts about marriage are just as funny and accurate as his posts about fatherhood:
Relationship status: I didn't get laid because we had a fight over how many syllables are in "javelin."— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
The important thing is I was right.
Wife: Can you give me a back rub?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016
Me: There's nothing in this world I would love more.
Wife: I mean an actual back rub.
Me: I'm busy.
Every pair of shoes a woman owns comes with a dramatic 20-minute story about how and why she bought it.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 31, 2016
Wife: Have I gained weight since college?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 28, 2016
Me: No, you've lost weight.
Wife: So I was fat in college?
Me: *curls up in the fetal position*
But perhaps the realest of all the Tweets? This painfully accurate description of pretty much every parent's feelings on a regular basis:
Friend: Why did you have so many kids?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 31, 2016
Me: They make me happ-
[loud series of suspicious crashes upstairs]
Me: I have no idea.
In other words, if anyone ever wants to know what being a parent is like, this Twitter account will basically tell them everything they need to know.