This 'Cars' Theory Will Keep You Awake At Night

Pixar's Cars franchise has been a endless source of confusion to me. So much so that, even with four sons who were obsessed with Lightning McQueen, I couldn't even. This was a world where we all live, with televisions and restaurants and such. Yet there are just no people. Like, anyone want to tell me who installed that TV, guys? Or changed that lightbulb? It turns out I am, naturally, not the only one who was bothered by the lack of humans. And now this dark Cars theory not only explains everything, but it will keep me from sleeping tonight.

Matt Singer, a writer for Screen Crush, was also looking for answers to the question; Where the heck are all the people who clearly had to live on earth at some point? So he decided to go to the source: Cars director Jay Ward, while at a press junket for the upcoming Cars 3. Ward shared his theory (careful to note it was just his own theory), and it's a dark one:

If you think about this, we have autonomous car technology coming in right now. It’s getting to the point where you can sit back in the car and it drives itself. Imagine in the near-future when the cars keep getting smarter and smarter and after one day they just go, “Why do we need human beings anymore? They’re just slowing us down. It’s just extra weight, let’s get rid of them.” But the car takes on the personality of the last person who drove it. Whoa. There you go.

This worries me. Deeply. Because, much like The Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes felt like a glimpse into the future of humanity, I can totally see this happening. I can see my car, the same old Toyota I constantly complain about and deprive of regular oil changes, consuming me quite happily. Absorbing me and taking on my personality like it's no big deal. That car has always seemed a little too sly for words, with its shifty headlights that look like eyes and such.

We had to know we were heading down this path, didn't we? I mean, did we really need cruise control so badly that we doomed ourselves to a future where cars take over? And why would they want to anyways? How are they able to get their regular maintenance done without human hands, and who is supplying them with gas? Who is rotating their tires? Tow Mater? Please, he's clearly only useful for comic relief.

This is far too much thinking for a children's movie. It's like Black Mirror for the younger set. Thanks a lot, Jay.