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Turn Your Instagram Browsing Into The *Ultimate* Valentine's Day Drinking Game

by Cat Bowen

I love Valentine's Day, but even the most romantic hearts among us can get a little gagged by all of it after a while. It's basically all that you'll see on social media on Feb. 14, and it causes more than its fair share of eye rolling. But what if you could use that vague sense of irritation over the repetitive posts and make it something fun? There's a drinking game for every other life event, why not make an Instagram drinking game for Valentine's Day and take advantage of everyone's predictable posts?

Obviously you need to drink responsibly, so remember that this is a game best played when you are already at home for the night. I am going to suggest you use pickleback shots because they'll remind you of just how salty you're being by silently judging all of your friends and likely getting hammered in the process. But you do you. Can't drink? Make this a healthy game and do pushups instead of a shot. You'll probably be jelly by the time the game has concluded, but you'll feel a heck of a lot better than the rest of us who chose to go with the lazier option. So take a sip of whatever drink you want every time you catch one of these in your Instagram feed.


For Every Selfie In A Restaurant

"Look where Chad brought me!" "My Honey knows I love Olive Garden!" "Romantic Valentine's Day at Shake Shack #blessed #extrashacksauce." Every selfie or posed photo of someone at a restaurant on Valentine's Day — take a drink. Hashtag carbs.


For Every Picture Hating On Valentine's Day

Everyone knows someone who can't wait to make fun of Valentine's Day. We get it, you're too good for the #HallmarkHoliday. But guess what? We're even better because we're drinking beer to your anger. And it's delicious. Now slide over on the couch and take your shot, hubby. Hashtag bitter.


For Every Bouquet of Flowers

Small sip on this one unless you want to get well-and-truly pissed early on in the game. Everyone 'grams their flowers. I don't care if someone's partner bought them a spray of 100 stems of roses or if they bought themselves a $5 street bouquet. If it's Valentine's, they're taking a picture and posting it. Hashtag allergies.


For Every Couple Who Gets Engaged

First of all, I am seriously side-eyeing the people who propose on Valentine's Day. It's cliché, and the only proposal I find more so is the kind that takes place on a Jumbotron. But every year there's a few on my feed. If you see this documented, you take the whole shot and the whole pickleback. Hashtag gag.


For Every Heart-Shaped Food

So it might be possible that I have cookie dough in the fridge ready to be cut into heart shapes. I'm basic that way, and apparently so is everyone else, at least judging by my Instagram feed. Anytime you see a heart-shaped cookie, pizza, steak, pie, or donut, take a drink. Hashtag no regrets.


Shoe Selfies

If you see a shoe from an awkward angle, or a weirdly detached foot in a mirror, you might be seeing a shoe selfie. On holidays that require people to dress up, like Valentine's, your feed will be awash with a million #Louboutin selfies. Take a sip every time you see one. Take a second sip if they tag the brand. Hashtag where is your body.


Box Of Chocolates

I don't care if it's Jacques Torres or the Whitman's Sampler, if you see a box of chocolates, you take a drink. If they hashtag it #lifeislikeaboxofchocolates you unfollow them and then you take a drink. Hashtag Hanks.


Champagne Toast

Oh look, we're all here #poppinbottles, but I'm doing it in my Costco leggings opening up the naughty Valentine's Day gift I'm giving myself, so who's winning? (Hint: it's me.) If someone on your feed posts a picture of their champagne toast, take a swig. If it's the same brand you're drinking, take a glug. Hashtag Hangover.