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This Mom's Hilarious Letter To Build-A-Bear Is All Of Us

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Every parent who has spent time with their child at Build-A-Bear Workshop intimately understands Einstein's theory of relativity... a minute feels like an hour, an hour feels like a day. Standing in the colorful, cheerful, plush aisles of a Build-A-Bear is to know why the caged bird sings. Or cries, or depends far too heavily on caffeine to get through the afternoon, or whatever. One mom understands, and she wants us to know she's there for us. Check out this mom's hilarious letter to Build-A-Bear, and revel in the fact that you, my friend, are not alone.

Sarah Rawsthorne of England recently took to Facebook to share an open letter to the folks at The Build-A-Bear Workshop. For those of you who have never been, this is the place where children go to create their own personalized stuffed animals, paid for by incredibly patient adults who must adore them. Why incredibly patient, you ask? I will let Rawsthorne, who visited with her 9-year-old daughter Ruby, explain. At the beginning of her (satirical, I assume) letter, Rawsthorne wrote:

Dear Build a Bear Workshop. Today is a day of change, today I make a stand. A stand not just for me but for all the other long suffering parents, who like me have endured your stores for years on end. I shall explain myself, bear with me. Did you see what I did there? I know, it's pretty amazing that I managed to crack a joke because today around 3pm, in one of your stores, I lost the will to live. I stood there and took in the bright colours around me and I couldn't take it anymore, Build a Bear has broken me.
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Rawsthorne, who writes a blog called The Fat Girl Diaries, went on to explain that she had been visiting the workshop for nigh on a decade, and it didn't matter what the occasion might call for, she always found a way to make Build-A-Bear part of the celebration. She used to see the visits as fun, but now? I'll let her explain:

It was fun for the first few years but my daughter is 9 now and I can confirm that there are more shoes for bears in my house than there are for humans. The bears have a better wardrobe than myself and no, their bum never gets [too] big for their outfits, the smug little bears! Doing my best not to swear but I can tell you, there have been many a bad word muttered in your stores. I know it's all my own fault, I give in to it time and time again. I subject my husband to it, I honestly think he might leave me if I make him stuff one more bear.

The problem, as we all know too well, is that while it might be "pure hell" for Rawsthorne, it's "pure heaven" for her daughter. Which is why she has one simple request:

Please don't get me wrong, take my money, I work hard to make my child happy. But please, please, please can you give us an area of the store we can sit and stare at a plain white wall, perhaps even offer us a refreshment, conversation that isn't about a great new smell to shove in the bears bum. I need desperately to be treated like an adult, an exhausted adult who quite honestly can't wait to leave your store. I can't take one more visit of faking excitement, I am done. It's been ten years BAB, I can't fake it anymore. Please help!

Rawsthorne told The Huffington Post that the big wigs at Build-A-Bear have yet to get in touch about her clearly brilliant idea to offer parents somewhere to collect themselves in the middle of the mayhem. And considering her daughter already owns around 20 Build-A-Bears, she wouldn't be too devastated if she was asked not to return:

Surprisingly Build-A-Bear haven’t contacted me at all. I am still waiting for my lifetime ban, fingers crossed it’s in the post.

Godspeed, Sarah. Godspeed.