In the age of social media, it can often seem like moms everywhere are enjoying all sorts of beautiful pregnancies and joyous birth announcements, and while that's all well and good, it can often leave moms who aren't loving every moment of their parenting journey feeling like they're doing something wrong. Being honest about the hard times isn't always easy or snapshot-worthy, but it's an important thing to do if we want to be honest and break stigma — and the recent mom-shaming reactions one mom got to her pregnancy post prove just how far we still have to go when it comes to respecting moms' individual journeys.
British reality TV star Luisa Zissman recently shared a candid post on Instagram admitting that she hates being pregnant. "Feeling sick in bed with Ellie.... hate growing babies literally don't enjoy anything about pregnancy," she wrote last week. "It goes on FOREVER too, I mean feels like I've got ages. Shouldn't moan I know but it's no fun, thank god I adore giving birth."
Personally, this seems like a totally reasonable post to share with the world. After all, being pregnant means putting aside nine months to grow a tiny human inside of you, and it's a process frequently involves side effects like nausea, swollen body parts, fatigue, and a whole host of other delights. Feeling #miserable is absolutely normal, and letting others know what you're going through helps moms everywhere know it's okay not to be "Beyoncé with a backdrop of flowers"-style pregnant all the time.
But not everyone saw Zissman's post in that light. Some moms took to the comment section to shame Zissman for expressing any negative sentiments at all around pregnancy, with one user writing,
How dare you say you HATE making babies. Did you ever take a minute to think of those of us, celebs and non celebs, who have tried FOR YEARS to have a baby with no success?
Another user wrote: "Funny u have two healthy kids third on a way and still find a way to complain."
Struggling to get pregnant can be an incredibly painful experience for women, and yes, those stories need to be shared — but those experiences don't negate other women's challenges. Women can both be thankful to have another child on the way, yet hate all of the negatives that come along with pregnancy. And as many women commented on Zissman's post, moms who struggle to get pregnant can then go on to face myriad challenges throughout their pregnancies. Both are valid human experiences, and moms shouldn't be shamed for any of them.
Fortunately, Zissman had the perfect light response for critics. "Yes we are lucky to be pregnant," she replied to one user. "But that still doesn't take away the occasional moan and groan and wishing the 9 months away!"
No matter where you are in your parenting journey, there are definitely women out there who are feeling the same way. So ignore the shamers, share your experiences, and commiserate when others are feeling #miserable, because on a day when parenting or pregnancy isn't feeling Beyoncé-goddess-wonderful, a little support from others can mean a lot.